Why does everyone judge me for doing things by myself?

As a busy person, I frequently find myself doing things alone. It’s a lot easier to grab a meal by myself and get to where I need to be, yet still take the time to properly enjoy my small breaks that I do get. And yes, this includes going to a sit-down restaurant alone because I do not always have somewhere to take my food to go. Why should I be forced to when there is a perfectly comfortable dining room at the restaurant?

Apart from it just being easier, believe it or not, I often CHOOSE to go places by myself. Things like shopping and eating are meant to be enjoyable and sometimes keeping a conversation going or deciding what you want to buy adds pressure when you are with another person.

When I am by myself, I can buy that abstract print crop top that I fell in love with even if it is kind of out there (I’m not the type to put it back anyways, but sometimes I’m just not in the mood to explain my decision making). I agree that with shopping it can be nice to have a second opinion but other days I just want to get what I want and move at my own pace.

Another example is movies, considering you don’t talk in them anyways, I do not get what is so wrong about going alone. Being alone also gives me time to slow down and clear my head, which is refreshing during my super booked days. Going somewhere with another person or group of people requires for a median pace to be met and sometimes I just want to go faster or slower than usual, which is perfectly acceptable by myself.

Despite these seemingly obvious reasons, I cannot tell you how many judging looks and times I have been asked something along the lines of “is anyone meeting you?” However, when I asked some of my guy friends about their experiences going and doing activities alone, less than half of them reported any difference in how they were treated.

So why does this difference exist? Does anyone remember the Friends episode where Rachel struggles to eat alone and the guys call her a “freak” for it? That episode aired in 1997, which is almost 20 years ago. How is it possible that in 2016 women are still not considered independent enough to do things alone?

As an only child, I have become used to doing things alone and have never really thought anything of it when others do, which is why receiving some of these negative responses has been a surprise to me.

To be honest, I think eating by yourself is completely liberating. It shows that you are confident and secure with who you are and that you are capable of enjoying your own company. It does not mean that you hate people, it just means that you find pleasure in your own company as well. So if that is something to be frowned on, judge away but I encourage you all to try it before you knock it.

@kelseyknepler