How to be single

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How to be single

There’s an art to it

Everyone, at some point in their life, is single. Unfortunately for over half of the British population (51 per cent) the term carries ‘single’ carries more than a little taboo with it. Boyfriends, essentially, should be seen in the same way as your favourite winter coat – you spend weeks ooh-ing and aah-ing over which one you should buy and when you finally make the cut you find it’s the snuggliest, loveliest one in the world. But it’s summer now, and who needs a winter coat when we know summertime is all about high waisted shorts and cute crop tops.

In relationship world this means it’s time for to shed that winter coat, and try on as many new clothes as you can – and that’s where we come in.

There are hundreds of pro’s and con’s to being single, as there are to everything – but there are significantly more pros. And it’s more than having the whole bed to yourself and watching bad films on “how to be single”.

Spend your money on you 

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They say money can’t buy happiness, but money can get you to Bali and that’s pretty much the same thing.

Yes, couples who travel are cute. Yes, you can get a 5-star honeymoon suite for the equivalent of a London taxi ride and spend hot sweaty nights together. But what about afterwards, when you break-up and you can’t look at a single one of those dreamy sun-kissed coconut-in-hand tan-on-fleek photos without cringing?

Find a friend. A good friend, if available. Convince them that traveling is the best thing in the world (it isn’t hard, trust me) and off you go. You will have the time of your life, and you will make hundreds of memories that you can look back on happily forever and ever.

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Many would argue that traveling either by yourself or with a good friend is the only way to travel. Going as a couple limits you in so many ways – going alone or with a friend opens you up to unlimited new friendships and adventures. You are free to do – literally – whatever in the world you want to do. No limits, no boundaries.

Get cosy with your new five-second BFF’s 

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Regardless of whether you do or do not do something uncouth while in a relationship there is always going to be that time you were tagged in a photo that makes it look shady. But bae didn’t know that, and now bae’s upset about that picture of you looking cosy with that Fred from Friday night. Fortunately for us single girls, we don’t have to worry about a thing. It doesn’t matter that Fred was fugly, or that the second that photo was taken was the same last second you ever spoke to Fred. It doesn’t matter one bit, because the only person’s happiness we have to worry about is our own. Sorry, Fred, no offence.

Spend more time with your favourite people

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Friends are the family we choose, and nothing could be more true.

See them every day – eat sleep live and laugh with them, do everything you can think of and more with them. If you have a great circle of friends you are extremely lucky, and if you’re single it means you have all the more time to spend with them. Enjoy it, treasure it, because boyfriends come and go but these bitches are with you for life.

Go for spontaneous roasts, go for big birthday dinners, go dancing and do karaoke and go eat the biggest burger in town. Go watch a film when you want a cuddle and stay at each others’ houses after nights out. Don’t let being single be a negative, make your friends your relationship instead.

Embrace being successful and independent and knowing it was all you

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It isn’t the middle ages anymore. I don’t need to tell you you don’t need a man to be successful.

But seriously you don’t need a man to be successful.

Learning to love yourself

‘Being single’ is often seen as a negative, something that is forced upon you – a time you spend on your own not because you want to, but because no man or woman likes or has ever liked you enough to move past the ‘seeing each other’ stage.

In fact, nothing could be further from the truth. Being single is an incredibly empowering time and one you will (hopefully) look back on one day with a smile. Being single is a time unlike any other when you can really “do you”, when you can focus on what you want and who you want to be. What you life goals are, and what you really appreciate. It’s when you learn how to take care of yourself, but it’s more than that – it’s when you learn how to become the very best version of yourself.

When I first became single in November 2013 I was a wreck. I had just come out of a three year relationship and it felt like my whole world had crumbled into pieces, literally. During those three years my whole life had become “our” life, everything I did and enjoyed was somehow related to him, and it was the scariest and worst time of my life. I had never felt so alone, and i’d never felt so lost.

Fast-forward to February 2015 and I was the happiest i’d ever been. By then, I had surrounded myself with the best circle of friends anyone could ask for, and I knew (as much as any 21 year old knows) what I wanted from life. I didn’t just do things on my own, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed getting dressed in the morning and knowing that the only person I had to please with my outfit was me. I never had to worry about where I would end up after uni finished, because I knew it was just me I had to answer to.

The reasons I have stated here might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is that we stop seeing single people as these poor, left-behind people who need comforting and dating advice. What we need to start seeing is that everyone needs to learn to love themselves, and everyone needs to learn to just be okay being them, before they can be really truly and honestly happy.

The end.

@MarikaHighTree

original video by

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