I took the initiative with guys for a week and I’m never going back


babe  • 

I took the initiative with guys for a week and I’m never going back

Watch out world this week made me realize I love being ballsy af

In today’s day and age gender roles are starting to disappear (can I get an amen?). Women are (almost) making as much money as men, they are proposing and they are essentially ruling the world, so why should I be afraid of texting a guy first or asking him to grab a drink?

The answer is I shouldn’t be afraid, but society tells me I should. Society tells me I shouldn’t double-text, act too interested or even initiate conversation. I’m supposed to wait. I’m supposed to wait until the man decides to give me the time of day, and I’m not a very patient person. So, waiting doesn’t really work for me, and neither does not being in control.

I decided to take initiative with all the men in my life, and I’m never going back.

My previous relationship with these men had always been pretty casual. I would wait for the first text, and it generally led to us never hanging out unless we happened to run into each other at a bar.

Occasionally if I was feeling extra brave I would send the first snapchat (gasp), but honestly this waiting had led to a very bland love life with a serious lack of kissing.

There is no reason I shouldn’t be able to be the one that takes the lead in my relationships. Honestly, I love the rush. I love putting someone in a position where they have to decide if they want to pursue a relationship with me or not.

It feels so much better to know where you stand with someone immediately instead of waiting for them to either take initiative or slowly realize that maybe they just aren’t that interested.

Also, from my experiences this week. I’ve come to the conclusion that many men actually think it’s very attractive when woman take the initiative. There’s something super sexy about a woman that knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to go for it.

I started the experiment by asking four men that I had some interest in if they wanted to grab a drink, dinner or ice cream sometime.I had class with one of them, but we usually just made eyes at each other. I drunkingly slid my number to one at a bar, one was from my hometown and the last one I met through greek life.

Surprisingly, I went four for four. I was pretty pleased with the results to say the the least, but I also had more plans than I had time for.

I had to juggle some things around, and ended up only being able to meet up with one of them, but don’t worry folks plans have been made.

That isn’t the point though. It doesn’t matter that the guys that I reached out to ended up being at least moderately interested. What matters is how much it actually changed the course of my week.

I felt more confident, and definitely more in control. I was no longer waiting around for a boy to read my mind, and ask me out. I didn’t spend anytime waiting by the phone, or feeling sorry for myself because my love life is nonexistent.

I felt like I had the power to change my own life, and that made me feel stronger and honestly more desirable. I know that I want to be with someone that isn’t threatened by my loud personality, so why should try to hide my straightforward attitude? I was finally allowing myself to be myself and be bold in every aspect of my life, and that gave me a new found confidence to just live the way I want to. I held my head a little higher, I send bold texts and I felt beautiful for the first time in a long time, but more than that I felt powerful.

I took control, and the results happened to be pretty great, but even if they weren’t at least I was the one in control, and that’s what’s important. I realized my passive relationships with men was seriously damaging my life.

I was allowing the men in my life to control my joy based on whether or not they took the initiative to push our relationships forward, and that’s not healthy.

Taking initiative gave me control, and reminded me that I am in control of what happens to me, and who is in my life. I don’t need to wait for a boy to decide my worth, because I already know that I’m worth it. I know I deserve a man that isn’t afraid of my assertiveness, and bold attitude in relationships. I don’t want to be with someone who expects me to conform to the gender roles society expects of me, or runs scared because I go after what I want.

My week of initiative taught me more than I thought it would about myself, and I’m never going to pretend to be a passive woman just because it’s what’s expected of me. I’m going after the guys I want, and being ballsy without fear.

Give it a shot ladies, you won’t regret it, and you just might find yourself with more dates than you know what to do with.