Being an identical twin in the dating world is exactly what you think it is

“It’s every guy’s dream is to date identical twin sisters.” You don’t know how many times I’ve heard a guy tell me that.

This far-fetched idea became more realistic with the entrance of the twin sisters on Ben Higgins’ season of The Bachelor. As an identical twin, I can tell you RIGHT NOW, as soon as the blonde Ferguson twins stepped onto The Bachelor scene, I had two thoughts: 1. They’re totally in it for the fame, because no twins in their right minds would vie for the affection of the same guy and 2. Damn, why didn’t my twin sister and I think of this first?!?

My twin sister, Katherine, and I have had our fair share of dating (no, not with each other, and no, not with the same guy), so I’ve had time and experience to weigh the pros and cons of being an identical twin in the dating world. Is it really as opportune it seems? That one’s up to you.

Pro: Conversation starter

When meeting a boy I’m interested in, my almost self-reflexive first sentence while describing myself is, “I have an identical twin sister,” to which the potential suitor looks more than a little intrigued. However, it leaves me wondering how interested he is in just me, or whether he’s more interested in “us.”

Con: He assumes I’m a psycho

When you’re an identical twin, it’s just instinctual to always say “We” when explaining a story, because well, yes, we do most things together and my stories generally involve Kath. However, I usually only realize five minutes into the convo when he is staring at me with a concerned look that he thinks “We” is referring to me and my many differing personalities. Whoops.

Pro: Easy date replacement

You know the scenario. You’ve agreed to a date for weeks, and he’s been texting you leading up to it about how excited he is. There’s only one problem: you’d rather sit in your PJs chain-watching some TV show whilst eating an entire pizza yourself (or is that just a “me thing”?) Twins have an easy resolution. This is the conversation that generally ensues.

Me: “Hey, Kath, remember how you owe me one?”

Kath: “Um yeah, what is this about?”

Me: “Turns out you have a date tonight. As me. With a guy. Have fun!”

And I then send off my twin for her glorious date as me. The best part? My date has no idea!

Con: Twin preference

When you’re an identical twin, you can’t help but wonder if the guy you’re talking to is more interested in your twin sister. With identical twins, you’re never going to look exactly the same. Some nights, Kath looks better and I’m just like, “Alright, tonight’s your night” and vice-versa. Sometimes I’ll meet a guy when I’m out and he sees Kath and asks me if I can introduce him to her. OK, I get it, she looks hotter tonight BUT I’M A VERY NICE GIRL. AND MY MOM SAYS I’M PRETTY, OK?

Pro: Easy deflector for guys I’m not into

Having a twin is truly great, because it acts as a consolation for boys I have no interest in. If a guy is great, but I’m just not into it, I always lead with the, “But hey, I have an identical twin sister who’s just like me, why don’t you ask her out instead?”

Bye, guilt!

Con: Calling “dibs” on the same guy

It happens (sadly) too often. My twin sister and I will see a real fox of a guy and say, “I call him!” simultaneously. Every twin sister knows that if you both call the same guy, neither twin pursues him. Sometimes, if one of us is feeling generous, we’ll “un-call” him and let the twin pursue him, but that’s a very rare occasion. So many missed opportunities for men because of our “twinness.”

Con: The “pity-look”

This is one of my favorites. The “pity-look” is what I’ve designated for the look that my twin’s boyfriend of the time gives me when he sees me spending my Friday nights alone time and time again. The “Hey-don’t-worry-Sarah-eventually-somebody-will-find-you-charming-enough-to-date-you-like-I-have-your-sister” look. I respond with my “I-really-don’t-give-a-shit-about-your-unsolicited-opinion” look.

Pro: Free shit

“Woah you’re going to buy me a drink and not my twin?”

*Guy stutters awkwardly, walks begrudgingly to bar and proceeds to order Kath a drink*

You’re welcome Katherine.

Con: “Do you even know which twin I am?!”

The scenario: you’ve been dating a guy for over a year. You’ve seen each other on average three times a week that entire year. So, in theory, he should know your name by now, right? RIGHT? Well, with twin sisters, it’s a little different.

No seriously, I had been dating a guy for over a year. Kath had a blind date the same night that I had a date with my boyfriend, and when his car pulled up, my twin sister, thinking it was the car of her blind date, got inside. My boyfriend at the time proceeded to say, “Sarah, why do you look so pretty tonight?!” Hm, I don’t know ex-boyfriend. What I do know is that wasn’t even me. Does a guy even care which twin he’s talking to? Will my future husband be able to tell us apart? These are the questions I gotta ask myself.

@TheTab