A bouncer told me I was ‘too fat to be the same person as my picture’
I had to go through my Instagram to prove to them I was the same person
To celebrate end of exams I thought a well deserved night out was needed. I spent the night attempting to ‘glam’ myself up and quite happily enjoyed pre-drinks. We finally decide it’s time to go to the club and after queuing for a while I’m finally about to have my ID checked. When the female bouncer stops me and tells me my ID isn’t valid. Questioning it her exact response was “you’re too fat to be the same person as in your picture”.
This was followed by a lengthy process of me having to explain that yes I’m now ‘overweight’ and in my picture I’m painfully thin. Reason being, I had an eating disorder.
After another bouncer then comes over to see what’s going on he asks for me to show them my phone and go on my Instagram to prove I was who I said it was. What made it even worse is they then both commented on all my photos, both ‘fat’ and ‘thin’, eventually concluding that I looked ‘skeletal’ and ‘ugly’ when I was slim too. This meant not only was I humiliated then but just proved to me how you really can’t win. We’re all too critical of anyone who is any shape or size. Fat, thin, tall, short, curvy or toned: someone will always critique you.
I would love to say this is the first instance of something like this happening, but sadly it’s not. When talking to one of my closest friends at uni, their throwaway comment was in regards to a dress I was wearing. Their exact words were “that’s one of the only dresses that looks nice on you, it must be so hard looking ‘chubby’ in all your clothes now”. Now I had been thinking it myself – hence why I wore that dress. But to have one of my own friends critique how I look was even worse. Do you know how hard it is to get told that from someone you actually trust? Of course you probably do. Find me one person who’s never had any criticism at all.
The best bit of this little anecdote is when I responded with a look of pure shock my friend continued “don’t get me wrong you looked awful skinny too. I wouldn’t have been friends with you if I knew you then”.
I know you’re probably thinking that my friend’s an absolute dickhead but her comments weren’t uncommon. I’ve heard them time and time again. Either it’s people saying it behind my back or just the general trolls on Instagram. We’re in a society where people think it’s perfectly reasonable to make judgments based on someone size.
Well quite frankly I’m done and I’m sure most of you are. We need to stop body-shaming. People can be any shape they want to be and making comments or being a general bitch isn’t going to make yourself feel any better about your own insecurities.
Whether you are doing it to make yourself feel better or just to bully someone then it’s time that it really becomes unacceptable. Body-shaming is the very reason that I have zero confidence in myself. No matter what shape or size I was. It’s probably the reason that I and so many others have had eating disorders and generally hated ourselves at times. I’ve got experience from both ends of the spectrum. I’ve been dangerously underweight, to a ‘normal’ size, to now what is classed as ‘fat’. Yet I’ve never been happy. This may be an insecurity thing but I can guarantee the passing comments made by people that may not meant to harm has also caused a major impact.
It’s really time we all think about what we say and just stop with the negativity. Body-shaming is not OK.