The fresher the better: Why I’ll always go for younger guys


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The fresher the better: Why I’ll always go for younger guys

It’s the future, trust me

When I met my first boyfriend, I was 15 and he was 18 – the exact opposite of a cougar you might say. I thought I was the pinnacle of cool: look at me with my college boyfriend with his crappy car and his ability to buy alcohol.

Since then, I’ve learnt that it was actually incredibly creepy for an 18 year old to date a 15 year old but that’s a story for another time – my most important lesson was that older guys are not all they’re cracked up to be. The general consensus in my friends is that older boys are better because they match us in maturity – cue the assumption that girls mature faster than boys.

However, I can safely say that after witnessing my male flatmates in their natural habitats,  comparing farts and making dick jokes with the best of 14-year-olds, this illusion of maturity in older boys is shattered.

Of course, a lot of girls just don’t want to be the older one in the relationship for various reasons. A friend, Sara, told me: “I want someone with confidence that knows what they’re doing – confidence comes with time and a lot of younger guys just aren’t there yet.” Jo, 19, who has been horrified by my cougar alter-ego and tells me that I’ll have to buy “one of those long, robe dressing down things and wear red lipstick even in bed and adopt a really patronising way of speaking.” Any got any red MAC I can borrow?

That certainly wasn’t the case with my first cougar experience – Matt. He was like an excitable puppy, so buzzed to have got into the club on his fake ID – his enthusiasm was infectious and I found myself having a better night because of it. When he came over to me and my friends on the dance floor, he didn’t start grinding behind me or just lunge in for the kiss as I’ve experienced with uni lads. He said hi like a real human being and asked me if I was having a good night – what a novel concept! It’s almost like uni strips guys of the peception of girls being real people: we’re a game for them. Younger guys aren’t there yet and it’s a welcome change.

The god of tits and wine (vodka)

A lot of the stigma around younger boys also comes from the worry that they’ll be inexperienced in bed – although Matt didn’t have the confidence of a uni-age guy, this actually turned out to be a good thing. Because he didn’t assume he knew it all, he asked me what I liked – how original! Because older guys assume they’re now good in bed, like some kind of achievement in a video game, they go steaming ahead while you’re lying there like ‘have you ever touched a human before’. Young guys are like a blank slate; you are their sex sensei, building them into an actual god in bed – you’re welcome, everyone else.

In the morning, Matt was endearingly shy – he asked for my number and said he’d had a brilliant night, would it be OK for me to walk him to the door of the block, he couldn’t remember where it was? I felt like some kind of benevolent god – go forth Matt, you are a man now.

Of course, the cougar life is not for everyone; Imogen, 21, says; “I have a brother who is younger than me and at the same uni – I honestly would have to become a hermit if I ever unknowingly slept with one of his mates and he found out about it! I’ll stick to the older lads.” Fair play.

There are always going to be advantages and disadvantages of both older and younger boys but I feel I’ve found my path – I did not choose the cougar life, it chose me.