Why you should date a northern girl


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Why you should date a northern girl

Pledge allegiance to the North

If you haven’t drunkenly debated how to correctly pronounce “bath”, or been asked what you call a teacake (perhaps you incorrectly know it as a barm, roll, breadcake, or bap), can you really consider yourself British?

The way we Brits embrace the north/south divide, you’d think we were living in Westeros. And this divide doesn’t end with pronunciation either. The rivalry is strong between the northern girl and the southern girl in the dating world too. But before you pledge allegiance to House South, here’s why you should probably consider abandoning King’s Landing and venturing into Wildling territory.

This is why you should date the northern girl:

She’s a low maintenance eater

If the southern girl gets hangry, only hand rolled sushi or a gourmet burger would sort her out. But not the northern girl. She’s happy with a portion of chips and gravy – cheesy chips if you’re feeling flash. Even to really impress the northern girl, all you need to know is a fail-safe Yorkshire pudding making technique (hint: very hot oil) or the location of the nearest pork pie shop.

She has a well-rounded taste in drinks

She’ll make you a proper cup of tea, because no one knows tea like a Northerner. For reference, a proper cup of tea should be strong and sugar-free.

Alternatively, the northern girl is just as happy with cheap pints and triple vodka trebles.

She’ll happily get a takeaway before a night out

There’s no shame in popping a toothbrush in your clutch. And she’ll get one after of course too.

She can take a joke

It’s impossible to avoid being a bit self-deprecating when everyone you meet makes an abysmal attempt to imitate your accent within the first 30 seconds. If the northern girl were to lack this fundamental down-to-earth nature, she’d be subconsciously drawing out her vowel sounds before she knew it, in an effort to neutralise that Yorkshire twang.

Her accent is sublime 

Speaking of which, her accent is perhaps her best asset. Let’s be honest, there’s something utterly charming about a woman not afraid to call anyone she meets “mate”. The internet usually bandies about the affectionate “duck” as one of the northern girl’s favoured terms of endearment, but those articles are clearly just written by southerners who don’t realise that the only people using “duck”on a regular basis are old women in Lancashire.

Rain doesn’t faze her

This alone should convince you to date the Northern Girl, because – when dating in the UK – not having to worry about the weather is a real plus point.

If anything, it’s the sun she can’t cope with

Neither does the cold

No one wants a date who insists on queuing for the cloakroom, but you won’t have that that problem with the northern girl. She wears her beer jacket with pride. Genuinely a freak of nature in cold weather, legend has it that she doesn’t even get goosebumps until the thermometer hits minus numbers.

Free activities are her favourite pastime

She is outdoorsy by nature, which is understandable given that she’s from God’s Own Country. Seeing as going for a walk is free, this is arguably the best reason to date her.

She enjoys proper sports 

Sports involving horses wearing ribbons are of no interest to the northern girl. She enjoys the true British pastime: cricket. While she has little interest in seeing 11 men kick a ball up and down a field for 90 minutes, drag that out into a 4 hour long affair with some fetching white outfits and a lot more standing around and the Northern Girl is happy. Who’s winning? Who knows! They say patience is a virtue, after all. The Manchester Girl is the obvious exception to this rule, where football is practically a religion.


She’ll have no shame for taking her shoes off during a night out

The northern girl is pragmatic through and through. She’ll whip her heels off during a night out, no problem. Having grown up on Coronation Street’s cobbles, it’s hard not to see the benefits of walking barefoot, and she gives no fucks what you think.

She pulls no punches

Honesty is the best policy for the northern girl. a southern girl might tell you look amazing, and a Welsh girl will claim any outfit makes you look lush, but not the northern girl. If you look like shit, you’ll know about it. Why wouldn’t you want to date someone keen to ensure you’re always being your best self?

And she takes no shit

Be warned that nothing will rile up the northern girl more than imposters claiming to be one of them. Just because you live north of the Watford Gap, does not make you northern. And for the last time, Birmingham is in the Midlands.