I spoke to a serial ghoster about why girls do it


babe  • 

I spoke to a serial ghoster about why girls do it

It’s when you cut all communication with someone you were seeing

You know how it goes – their message pops up, you close it, ignore it, and act like they never existed. Block them on social media. Gone. It’s easy if they weren’t that important to you anyway… but your boyfriend?

I spoke to Hazel, a serial ghoster, about ghosting on dates and boyfriends to find out why girls do it.

How many boys have you ghosted?

I’ve ghosted three people – one serious boyfriend, one not-so serious, and a Tinder date

Why did you ghost the serious boyfriend?

I ghosted him because we’d been going back and forth for ages. Breaking up and getting back together and it got to the point where he became so overbearing and was refusing to let me break up with him that it just got really, really, really irritating and I got angry and I thought the only way I can escape this person is to eradicate him from my life. And by that it meant blocking his number and his social media.

How did he react?

He contacted me through a friend’s profile on Facebook but I didn’t get the message until 3 or 4 months after he sent it because it was in my filtered inbox.

He basically wrote this essay about how much he hated me and how I treated him really badly and I felt really bad – so bad that I sent him a message to apologize.

Now we are cool. We’re not really friends but we are civil.

Was ghosting him the right thing to do?

No. But it was a last resort. Breaking up the normal way didn’t work.

What about the not-so-serious boyfriend? Why did you ghost on him?

When I started dating him I didn’t realise how dependant he was going be on me and I found him extremely annoying. I ended things but he continued to send me weird creepy messages such as ‘it was a pleasure to have my heart broken by you’ even though we’d only been dating for a couple of weeks.

I blocked him on everything.

What about the Tinder boy?

He was really gross. Came on to me way too fast and thought he could out of the blue kiss me. I was like ‘I’m not attracted to you no’.

He made me uncomfortable as he was moving way too quickly… and didn’t seem to get that I wasn’t attracted to him. He kept trying and I wasn’t having any of it.

How did he take being ghosted?

Never heard from him again. He tried to add me on Facebook which was the only platform I didn’t have him on but I rejected it and blocked him.

How do you feel about the act of ghosting?

Overall I don’t like it. I’ve been ghosted and I think it’s really mean, it’s not nice. I know how it feels and I shouldn’t have done it to someone else.

But I don’t know, it felt like the easiest option for the Tinder guy and for the others I didn’t know what I could do. They were messaging me daily and driving me insane. I couldn’t get peace until I blocked them. But it is cruel and it hurts people’s feelings. If you don’t feel guilty after ghosting someone I think you’re a bit of a psycho to be honest.

Did you feel guilty?


Why do you think girls often ghosts the boys they are seeing?

I think it’s an easy option to get someone off your case, and maybe to just slight them, make them feel like shit. I didn’t do it to make people feel bad I just did it to get some control back in my life. It’s just a case of being ‘I don’t want to feel like I can’t do what I want. I don’t want to be with you anymore. If the only way to get you to understand that is to completely block you from my life then that’s what I have to do’.
It seems like a really unkind way of treating someone but sometimes you just have to be cruel to be kind. It is the coward’s way out. I should have been honest upfront with the tinder date and say I wasn’t interested but rather than having the guts to say that I just thought I’ll save his feelings by ignoring him.