We asked girls to show us their best booty call texts

Let’s be honest, we all send and receive booty calls far more often that we’d like to admit.  

So here is the definitive guide to every single booty call text that you will ever send or receive.

The one that makes no sense

It will be full of typos and words that aren’t actually words.  This one is definitely best avoided, they’ll probably be passed out with their shoes still on when you get round there.

‘You should be whopping my yard after’

The accidental gif

Everyone loves a gif, but only in the appropriate situation.  You will at some point accidentally send a gif when you’re trying to send a reasonably seductive booty call. Just pray it isn’t anything too weird.

Bit of a mood killer

The pre-night out one

They know where tonight is ending and they want to make sure that you do too.  They probably don’t even care if you’re out, they just want you to know that you will be hooking up later.

The thinly disguised one

This one will most likely come from someone you’ve slept with before.  It will say something like ‘Are you up?’ or ‘What are you doing?’ or ‘How’s your night going?’, but you’ll both know exactly what they’re actually asking.

This escalated quickly

The sexy meme

The love poem of the digital age, this one is rapidly growing in popularity.  They aren’t usually very subtle, but at least it’s something different.

The failed one

They’ll message you, you’ll be asleep.  In the morning you’ll both wake up alone and disappointed.

The one that just turns up outside your house

This is never really okay, but it will happen to you at least once.  You  may not realise it’s happened because they’ll probably be too drunk to articulate the fact that they’re outside.

He was outside her house

The ashamed, apologetic one

‘I’m really sorry, but…’, ‘I know the answer’s probably no, but is there any chance…’, ‘Hey, I’m so sorry if I’m waking you up, but I was just wondering…’. Just man up and ask the question properly.

Not if you’re going to ask like that

The unacceptably forward one

This message will make you recoil in horror when you open it.  It will be neither sexy nor subtle.  It will probably say something like ‘Do u wanna fuck?’.  They definitely do not care about your feelings.

Not pleasant at all Who said romance was dead?

The one that you get at club closing time

It’s exactly 2.45am and your phone goes.  Whoever is texting you hasn’t pulled and you are their last resort.  It’s sad but it’s true – anything after about 2.30 on a standard night is very desperate territory.

3.02? No thanks See you around at 02:59? I don’t think so

The one that hasn’t got the hint

You slept together once in freshers.  They’ve messaged you randomly on nights out every couple of months since then and you’ve never replied, why have they not got the message?

2 years later… It’s 1am, he doesn’t just want your Snapchat

The one you met in the club earlier and gave your number to who now can’t remember your name

This is quite an easy mistake to make, it is noisy in clubs.  But if you know you saved your name in their phone  or they’ve messaged you on Facebook there is just no excuse for this.

‘My name is Lauren’

The one that is almost, but not quite a booty call

This differs from the thinly disguised booty call because you genuinely aren’t sure what they’re actually looking for from the conversation.  The uncertainty adds some excitement.

6/10 walk home

The one that gets sassy when you don’t reply

You’re sound asleep with your phone on silent but they’re drunk and can’t comprehend how you could possibly resist their charms. So they get angry. But it’s fine because you won’t see it until the morning and they probably won’t still be angry then.

I have all eaten all the nuggets

The weird

Are they serious? Is it a joke? No, I don’t want to rumble in the jungle with you.

Emergency contraception turns you on? Sorry, no you aren’t going to ‘spank that azz’ Oh ok I won’t then Knows what he wants

The honest one

It’s not too graphic and it’s not really even that weird.  It’s just honest.

The one that’s willing to take a risk to make it work 

They might be an hour’s walk away or they might be so drunk that they don’t even know where they are but don’t worry, they assure you, they are going to make it to your house.  Let’s be honest though, you’ll probably have to go and find them.

The one that’s a bit too keen

It doesn’t matter how drunk or desperate you are, capital letters are never acceptable.

The one that wants to know where they stand before they come over

They don’t want to waste their time if you’re not putting out, soz.

The mutual one

You’re both flirting so hard you aren’t even sure who’s booty calling who.  Congrats, you’re living the dream.

Stop it, you’re making me blush

The post-break up one

You haven’t heard from them since you last slept together, you saw on Facebook that they had a girlfriend and now they’ve messaged you out of the blue asking how you are.  Oh and then they just happen to drop into conversation that they’ve broken up with their girlfriend.

What a strange coincidence

The ‘just asking for a mate’

Are you really though?

The one that tries to convince you they have something other than sex to bring to the table

They might say something like: ‘I just want to watch a film with you’, ‘I’ll bring a bottle of wine’ or ‘Can I borrow your iron’.  But let’s not delude ourselves here; this might be more elaborately disguised but if it comes late at night, it’s still a booty call.

We can all see where this is going

Related stories recommended by this writer:

● Bella Hadid’s guide to thirst trapping is essential for getting maximum attention online 
● An English major analyzes booty call messages
● You’re probably a fuckgirl if you’ve pulled any of these iconic hoe schemes – and I’m sure you have