Why everyone should date an Essex girl
It’s the only way
‘I wish I could date an Essex girl’ – it’s something you’ve undoubtedly heard thousands of times. I mean, why wouldn’t you?
We have the best accent
So what if we were voted one of the worst accents in the UK by some mean, jealous people, and so what if we hardly ever pronounce our T’s if it’s in the middle of a sentence, everyone knows that the Essex accent is the sexiest, cutest accent in the world, let alone the UK. At least we don’t have one of those annoying Northern accents you can’t even understand. We are Southern belles and proud. From ‘alright babe?’, ‘shuuuup’, ‘stop gettin’ aggy’… could it be any sexier? I think not.Just a night out at Faces
We all know someone who knows someone whose cousins with that girl on TOWIE
Wanna be one step closer to being famous, well get with an Essex girl who knows someone’s best friend’s cousin who is on TOWIE and you basically have celeb life in the bag. Thank me later.
We’re all very honest
Dating an Essex gal, we will let you know if your outfit look utter shite, or if you have food stuck in your teeth or if your new haircut is vile, we’ll just come right out and tell you babes.
We have the best personalities
We’re loud, proud and swear an awful-fucking-lot, but an Essex girl knows where her heart is – at least I think I know where mine is. We are always friendly, even to people we don’t know. You could be sitting there on the train and suddenly out of nowhere: ‘Babe I love your shoes, where are they from?’ Yeah that happens a lot. We give great advice and will always be the best person you can rely on. We’re good at keeping secrets and you can literally talk to us about anything, we LOVE to talk.
You’ll always feel clever
As Essex girls, we are known to be a little ditsy. We may not know how to spell simple words or how to form simple sentences in the correct format. We can ask silly questions like ‘what country is Africa in?’ or ‘Margaret Thatcher… she’s the Queen right?’ and we may get confused with our ABCs but you can always count on us to make you laugh with our lack of knowledge on things that aren’t as important as knowing how long to keep the fake bake on for, or how many minutes you should sunbed for without burning (this is clearly more important than knowing what country Africa is in).
We have banter
Essex girls aren’t like any other southern counties girl: we have a northern-like banter about us. You can throw a sarcastic insult at us and we’ll just throw one back. We have good craic and know not to take ourselves too seriously. Yeah you mug.
We can take you to the best places
Essex gals know where the party’s at. If you’re down in Essex with your gal expect her to show you around all the hotspots. Whether you’re going down Southend pier or Loughton high street during the day or getting a table in Sugarhut or Faces at night, your Essex girl knows what’s up and how to keep the party going. She might also flirt with a promoter, but that’s OK because at least you’ll get a free bottle of Goose.
We always look good
Whether it’s day time and were strutting around with our two piece tracksuit on from one of our fave Essex boutiques and our hair in rollers, or night time when we’re off to Sugarhut dressed in our bandage dresses, wearing heels for days and a full head of perfectly curled hair extensions and on point make-up, we always look on point.
In Essex, with a tanning salon on every street corner, a pale, pasty Essex gal is hard to find. We like to match our ditsy personalities with a dark orange tan. Who needs constant trips to Marbs when you can fake it?
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