We asked men why they become sexist

This summer I’ve been lucky enough to intern in an environment where I communicate with children. One day, two young boys and I got to talking about football. Testing their response, I mentioned I couldn’t play football because I’m a girl. To my surprise, the eight year sternly directed all his attention toward me and said, “So what? That doesn’t matter!” The twelve year old then turned and proceeded to tell me all the ways girls can play football. Their demeanor was so adamant and encouraging, making me wonder when do guys become sexist? It obviously isn’t an innate behavior that the male species possess; so when does it start?

To find answers, I asked a group of guys, “When they think they started becoming sexist.” Knowing people (not just men) can be egotistical, I knew it may be hard to get a direct answer. Assuming many guys would deny that they’re sexist and maybe even chuckle when I asked the question, I still gave it a shot.

Consistent with my assumption guys didn’t corporate when the question was directed at themselves. However ironically enough, they didn’t seem to struggle when I asked “do you have any sexist guy friends? And if so, when did they start becoming sexist?”

All but two of the guys I conversed with admitted to having sexist guy friends. A popular response believed the sexism started in high school.

Vinny Amodeo, Adelphi University, 22

“High school is the period of developing beliefs and standing on certain matters in the world. The stereotypes and gender roles associated with women, is a matter that guys choose to take a stand on when they are high school aged.”

The favored answer was sexism begins to develop in Elementary school. Children are very receptive, they absorb information like a sponge. Fathers who carry a demeanor around stereotypes and gender roles are going to create a framework of behavior for their sons. The answers associated with this notion were:

Arun Basuljevic, Georgetown University, 20

“I think it has a lot to do with the household they were raised in and what they were taught when they were younger.”

Jackson Childs, Manhattanville College, 21

“Guys become sexist when they see how their fathers treat their mothers; the expected ‘role of mothers’ in the household creates a mindset of males being the dominant gender.”

Connor Norm, Manhattanville College, 21

“It all starts in elementary school when everything is boys vs. the girls, you start to hear phrases that you can use against one another and it escalades from here.”

These “phrases” children use against each other in recess aren’t being devised in their own minds. They are discovered in homes and are carried into schools. One kid repeats one sexist phrase he hears at home, now the class of 20 kids is repeating that same phrase, and soon the entire grade is repeating it too. Parents influence the minds of many children not just their own.

Now, what happens when guys become sexist?

For this question I asked women for answers.

All feedback was detailed and similar; however each took their own unique angle. A common theme was superiority:

Samantha Panny, Pennsylvania State Law, 22

“He talks down to women. He acts superior to them.”

Ariana Salgado, Manhattanville College, 20

“Guys being sexist leads to them viewing women in a demeaning way by dehumanizing them and objectifying them.”

Evaline Diaz, Manhattanville College, 19

“Men think their physical stature and mental capacity is far greater.”

Haille Edwards, Make-up Artist, 20

“Saying ‘ew’ when women grow their body hair or if women fart around them. The slight idea of women performing normal bodily functions makes some men truly disturbed and it’s sad.” I will never understand why it’s gross when we act like humans; seriously, that’s beyond ignorant.

Mariana Lopez, Manhattanville College, 20

“Men become controlling because they can’t accept the fact that women are capable of performing the same as them in different aspects of life.”

She believes a main reason for divorce is because husbands can’t handle their wives making more money than them.

Left- Jess Nicosia, Coastal Carolina University, 20 years old. Right- Cassandra Girvalo, The College of Holy Cross, 23 years old

When men become sexist they become narrowed minded, disrespectful, control-hungry people. The need to feel superior over the opposite gender is based on nothing more than unadulterated insecurity.

My hope is that the father of the two young boys I spoke about continues to leave their minds unbiased because every right-minded man counts toward the future of gender equality.