A beginner’s guide to finding the right vibrator

tips

babe  • 

A beginner’s guide to finding the right vibrator

Yes Lauren Cocking is my real name

Masturbation is a fact of life; a healthy ritual you might even say, that you definitely shouldn’t give a fuck about indulging in as often (or not) as you please. It’s been scientifically proven to reduce stress levels, help strengthen your pelvic floor through orgasm and helps ease menstrual pains. Plus, it gets you off and gets you to sleep – if only men were so adept at doing the same. According to one expert, Dr Lauren Streicher, there are “absolutely zero negative effects”.

With that in mind, and given that women spend a reported three times as much money on sex toys as men, we took it upon ourselves to test out the best vibrators available so you didn’t have to.

Luckily for us, booming websites like Bondara, Lovehoney, the aforementioned stalwart of the high street, Ann Summers, and even Amazon are making it easier than ever. Here is a guide to the tried and tested vibrators that are getting you off.

 

Clitoral Vibes

Clitoral vibes are perennially popular and are proven to hit all the right spots – the exact right spot, to be precise. Discreet, powerful and effective, they’re just as great with a partner as they are alone. Having said that, and I quote, “no guy has made me orgasm the way this thing does.”

We recommend the nü brand rechargeable bullet which you can buy on Amazon for around £23. This is a very portable, discreetly high power item that we LOVE. It is a must-have, get-down-and-dirty-very-quickly item for all women.

For UK based babes, Lovehoney do an amazing USB rechargeable vibe too. Charge it up in front of your parents, in class, in a coffee shop and no one will be any the wiser about your evening plans. At least one of the seven settings will definitely get you off and quickly. Otherwise, build up tension with setting number seven and take your time. Super discreet and only £30, plus its waterproof so live a little and take it into the shower with you. We guarantee your housemates won’t even notice the vibrations.

Pros: Powerful and effective. And no batteries necessary.

Cons: You’ll get addicted.

Rating: 5/5

 

Magic Wand

This stalwart of the sex toy scene – originally made famous by Hitachi – has a legendary reputation, but a price tag to match. The original Magic Wand was marketed as a ‘device for relaxing sore muscles’ but women soon caught on to the fact there was something else it ought to be massaging and it’s now the go-to for women around the world.

Seeing as most people probably don’t want the inconvenience of the wall-powered original, rechargeable copycats have flooded the vibe market. This mini Lovehoney version is one of the best, although we failed to see the appeal of the large, rotatable head, preferring the precision of your smaller clitoral vibe. Having said that, and even though it might look like some kind of weird instrument, you probably shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. After all, millions of women can’t be wrong.

Pros: No need to plug it in for it to work, unlike the original.

Cons: Looks weird as fuck.

Rating: 3/5

 

Rabbits

Iconic and intimidating best sums up the classic Rabbit silhouette vibe. So named for their cute – and ingenious – rabbit ears, which stimulate the clit whilst letting the dildo do its thang in other areas. If we could take one vibe to a desert island, the rampant rabbit would be it.

Our tried and tested favourites include this beauty, available for around £19 at Spencer’s in the US. Battery powered but powerful, think the sound your phone makes when on vibrate. Even though they can be extremely small, the vibrations they give off are often (more than) pleasantly surprising. We definitely recommend, plus you can use it to stimulate both the entire vagina and the clitoris. Use it with or without your partner and let them tease you by playing with the speeds.

 

Once you get past the initial horror at the goddamn size of most rabbit vibrators, you realise they’re an excellent investment. UK based gals might want to instead check out the Lovehoney rabbit if the realism of the Spencer’s has you turned off. Made from smooth and attractive pink silicon, you can control the ears and the dildo separately. It really gets the job done and might make you wonder why evolution only blessed rabbits with, well, rabbit ears.

Pros: Stimulates multiple areas.

Cons: If battery powered, you’ll find you’re spending a good chunk of money on AAs.

Rating: 4/5

 

G-Spot Vibes

The elusive G-Spot is much hyped up by women’s magazines, but it remains just that for me; elusive. G-Spot vibes are specially shaped at the end to stimulate the supposed patch of super sensitive wall endings that are inside your vagina.

The Tracey Cox G-Spot Vibe – available on Lovehoney – is supposedly fantastic if you want to spend your precious you time looking for a patch of nerve endings. It’s never done it for me, but apparently if you do find yourself in possession of one, stimulating it is insanely orgasmic. Worth a try if you either know where yours is and can’t wait to get your mitts on it, or want to try and discover some new previously unknown realms of pleasure.

US (and UK) based gals looking for a G-Spot vibe should also try the Swedish Svakom Leo, which is a little more expensive – around £40 on Amazon. While all Svakom products are amazing, not to mention water resistant so you can take them in the bath, they’re always made from high quality silicon and often from environmentally friendly materials. This vibe is a larger option and would be great if you’re having trouble finding that sweet spot.

Pros: Works great if you can actually find your G-Spot.

Cons: Not so great if you can’t.

Rating: 2/5

 

The Wildcard

Ahh, the wildcard. Is it a clit vibe? Is it a rabbit? No-one knows, but it is impressive. And strange.

A high-end vibe for those of you who’ve managed to find that elusive grad job already and need some down time after a heavy day at the office, this Ann Summers offering does an amazing job if you have less than five minutes to get yourself off and then get back on the grind. The two prongs, for want of a better word, are meant to be inside and outside of your vagina simultaneously, providing all over stimulation that can be operated separately; choose from any one of eight setting on each prong and find out what works for you. If you’re especially agile, you can try and incorporate it into sex. Plus, it’s rechargeable.

Pros: Incredible all-inclusive stimulation.

Cons: A little pricier.

Rating: 4/5