Inside the world of holistic vagina massages

When I want to chill and unwind, I watch some TV. I might have a bath. Maybe get my nails done. If I was feeling super stressed and luxurious, I would contemplate getting a facial or massage or something. ‘Self care’ is all the rage right now. It’s about doing something nice for your body, to benefit your mind. Quite simply: we feel nice inside when we do nice things for ourselves on the outside. Recently ‘Holistic Vaginal Massages’ or ‘Yoni Massages’ have been on the rise.

They seem to be a trendy addition to your standard full body massage; the masseuse actually penetrates the client’s vagina in an attempt to bring them to orgasm. From various online reports, I’ve worked out that this isn’t supposed to be for a sexual release (like the classic ‘happy ending’ massage), but instead it is supposed to trigger various emotions in the client, benefitting their minds well after the orgasm has finished.

Confused at this new trend of women paying for a ‘special extra’ with their massage, I talked to one of London’s Yoni Masseuses, Alexey, to find out some more. Alexey is a trained Yoni masseuse after graduating from the Crimean Medical State University, and has been running his London practice since 2002.

How did he get into the business? “At the age of 18 I began noticing something curious in my relationships with women. They confessed that sexual intimacy with me was something unique, deeply positive and therapeutic, unusual for guys of my age.” I was also interested to learn from Alexey’s website that he is in a relationship with a woman, who doesn’t mind what he does.

Alexey

Could you explain the practice, what actually happens when the client is on the massage table?

It is a guided sexual experience that I create for the client for healing or learning purposes. I touch the client with a special technique to create a particular, richer, deeper, more nourishing sexual energy in her body. I also talk to the client throughout the massage to guide her to connect in a new and more profound way to every moment of her experience. It is a journey through different kinds and phases of her sexual energy.

We start with gentle and nurturing touch all over her body to awaken. The sensations get progressively powerful for her as the massage goes. There is a long phase of awakening and her experiencing her whole body before we focus on the yoni massage (internal). Again, this is a combination: I give the woman a special kind of rich and nurturing touch internally, while I guide her to connect well and like so create shifts in her experience. The yoni massage can be excluded if a client is not comfortable with it.

 What is, in your opinion, the main benefit of this practice?

The purpose of the practice is to allow the woman to experience her sexual energy in a new, advanced, more nourishing and more powerful way. There is a range of benefits from this. A woman may find healing in the area of sex. She may learn a new approach to greater feeling in sex and replicate it. She may gradually develop into a more sensitive and sexually alive woman. Often, the massage has a positive influence on many areas of her general wellbeing too 

How do you explain to new people you meet what you do?

I just say I teach people about sex. I also do consultations and workshops, the tantric massage is just one of the formats to transmit this knowledge experientially. If people are surprised about the massage I explain that it’s a controlled and guided experience for the purposes of learning or healing.

Sometimes I’ll just say I do back massages – when I’d rather not ‘go there’.

What is the most common feedback you receive from clients after they have the massage done?

‘I was so nervous I thought I wouldn’t be able to relax but I was surprised how easy it was. I also didn’t expect to feel as much as I did feel’. I usually reply that this didn’t happen out of the blue – it’s a technique for connection and being present in your body which you’ve just got from me and practised, and now you can take it home.

What are the lasting benefits of this practice and how do they happen?

If someone can let go of a sexual problem or trauma for good and heal it, this is obviously a life-changing benefit. When a client has no such purpose, the massage teaches you about what tantric sex would feel like – you experience the sensations and you learn how they are created. With these insights you can recreate these experiences in your personal life. With repeated massages you can reach a more permanent change where the woman’s body becomes more sensitive, responsive and orgasmic. There is a certain rewiring and reconditioning.

What do you say to people who may compare the massage to prostitution/sex work services? Or ‘happy ending’ massages?

It depends. For those who genuinely ponder it, I would say it’s about the purpose the client has. People who come to see me don’t come to satisfy desires – they come for healing or learning and they follow my format which I decide on as a professional therapist. It is a controlled practice with firm boundaries and it is meant to maintain a client / therapist format.

There is nothing uncomplicated about sex, it affects people hugely and no one learns how to have it beyond the basic. We should see such coaching as sensible. Actually people often say ironically ‘That must be the best job in the world!’ To which I’d often reply: ‘You make it sound like anyone can do it’. I think people often don’t realise what it involves to make a conducive but professional space for a woman – any woman – to find her sexuality.

How do you feel the massage fits in as part of a self-care regime, is it more like a deep tissue massage or a juice cleanse? Is it more for the aesthetic, the body or the mind?

When a woman accesses her sexual energy in a nourishing way, it has effects on all sides of her wellbeing. Many of my clients feel that their tantric massage is a major thing they do for self-care. Primarily it has a strong positive effect on mental and emotional wellbeing, all sides of it. To a lesser extent, and probably as a side effect, women may also feel improved physical wellbeing. Rather than a massage I’d probably compare it more with yoga / meditation in its effects.

Can this type of massage be performed on men?

Yes, but I believe all tantric massages should be performed along sexual orientation lines for greater response. So for heterosexual men they would need to be done by women, for gay men by gay men, and the massage would need a different approach than that for women.

Have you ever had any celebrity clients?

Confidentiality in my work is paramount so I never comment on any particulars about clients.

Have you ever had this massage performed on you yourself?

Yes, by partners but never professionally.

How do you train for this?

I don’t really know what is available now in terms of training. The massive interest in tantric sex and tantric massages is a recent explosion in the last 10 years or so. There are probably many people now formally training others, I’m not much on the scene, I just do my work. I myself started in this work before, when there were only a handful of genuine practitioners. So there were no specific training routes back then and you had to learn personally from masters.

Ultimately, understanding tantric massage is understanding female sexuality and all intricacies and deep truths of it. Training is not enough. You need the right heart, the intuition, the sensitivity and a lot of experience, both personal and professional, to do this work well for a client.

If you want to find out more about Alexey’s practice, Yoni Massage, or to book an appointment yourself, visit TantricTherapy.co.uk

@perrrrin