We asked couples who moved in together in their 20s what they were thinking


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We asked couples who moved in together in their 20s what they were thinking

‘It’s intense’

Usually moving in with your significant other means compromise, but it’s the next logical step in progressing your relationship, right? If you’re happy, then why not? In fact, it was recently proven that divorce rates have fallen to their lowest level for 40 years amid signs that the growing acceptance of couples living together before getting married has ultimately strengthened marriage.

But for most of us, it still seems mental. We found some couples who had taken the plunge way earlier than expected, to ask them what it’s like living with the person you’re going out with and seeing them literally all the time. 

Courtney, 20, Student at UEA and Oliver, 19, Assisting Design Engineer

“We’ve been together for nine months”, says Courtney. “We met through mutual friends at a club. We were with each other for five months before moving in together. Friends and family are really supportive, and it’s not claustrophobic, but we do spend the majority of our time together. We don’t feel like we’re missing out either, as it’s a very relaxed living situation – it’s like living with your best mate.”

Sophie, 20, English Literature and Music and Jack, 20, Computer Science – Oxford Brookes

“We’ve been together for two years. We both started at the same university, and we were put into the same halls but in opposite flats. We met on the day that we moved in and became official during the first semester.

“Friends and family are very supportive, and we often visit each others family for social events. We get on really well with one another. In term time and around deadlines, it can be little stressful, but as we have separate rooms we have the option to have our own space when it’s needed.”

“We spend most of our time together in the mornings and evenings but during most days we do our own things, such as going to work or socialising with friends. I think if you feel as though you’re missing out on the uni experience then a relationship clearly isn’t for you, which is why it’s important to make sure you have a good balance.

“One of the best things about living together is that we occasionally cook dinner for each other, which is nice after a stressful day. Living together means you get the support you need when you need it most.”

Lauren, 21, Freelance Writer and English Teacher and Jorge, 23, 3D Video Game Animator

“We’ve been together a little over a year and a half and moved in with one another after only being ‘officially’ together for around five or six months. We met when I was working abroad in Mexico through a mutual friend and it turned out that although we met in Puerto Vallarta, we both lived permanently in Guadalajara. It went from there, and we started going out together before finally getting together.’
“I don’t remember telling my parents, but I’d met his family right before we moved in together and I think they were just happy the rent for the room would now be shared between two- did I mention we weren’t renting a place, we were just renting one room together? Intense.
“My friends on their years abroad in Spain and Europe thought I was a bit crazy at first to be honest.”

“Our favourite thing about living together was the money we saved and the fact that we didn’t have to constantly get taxis back and forth between my old place and his anymore. It was very intense though and sometimes a bit too much because neither of us was working loads at the time and we spent a lot of time in the house. Having said that, it was also easier than anticipated and I loved it.

“We never felt like we were missing out – it’s like, missing out on what? We still went out all the time, and had other housemates to socialise with if necessary. It was great.|

Catherine, 21, Occupational Therapy and Henry, 19, Animal Biology and Conversation – Oxford Brookes

“We’ve been together 18 months, and we started living together before we started going out as we moved into halls together, then just carried on living together at uni. My mum thought it wasn’t a good idea at first because it can be quite distracting, but she’s fine with it now. A few of my friends are in the same situation so none of them think it’s strange or too quick.”

“It’s not claustrophobic because we still have separate rooms – thank god, otherwise I wouldn’t cope. Because we live with other people I don’t feel like I’m missing out, I always planned on living with friends before moving in with a boyfriend so I’m just doing both at the same time.

“Our favourite thing about living together is getting to cook together, and it’s really handy because Henry cooks lovely food and I wash up.”

Lauren, 20, English Language and Communication and Nick, 21, Maths – Oxford Brookes

“We’ve been together almost two years, and we met at uni. We were put in the same halls, and I had a boyfriend at the time but when I met Nick, that was it. We decided to live together in second and third year too. We hope to move in together after uni as well.

 “As we were put in the same flat, we’ve always lived together, so it’s all we’ve ever known really. I think my family were a bit concerned at first, like ‘what if it goes wrong’. My flatmates have always been very supportive though.”
“We do spend pretty much all our time together but I wouldn’t call it claustrophobic, we do it because we enjoy each other’s company. We have mutual friends and separate friends, so we don’t overcrowd each other. Plus, we have separate rooms at uni as well so we have our own space. never feel like I’m missing out because I have other flatmates too. I love living with him because we are so much closer than a normal couple because of it, we literally know everything about each other.”