A response to the guy who thinks my Instagram pics are slutty

As unsolicited advice tends to go, it is generally completely a) unwanted and b) ignorant.

One of our generation’s most innovative thinkers (a fellow BC student) messaged the following words of wisdom:

Now, there are many noteworthy points of discussion with this lovely message. The inequity is startling and multifaceted.

First, I’m clearly a feminist (what female, or human being, wouldn’t be?) in a “I’ll-free-the-nipple-all-day-everyday” and “I-don’t-give-a-shit-if-guys-don’t-like-it” type of way.

I’ll quickly address the glaring issues with the message before moving on to the good stuff.

A guy using an insult as a means of starting conversation with me.

(I hate to break it to you, but juxtaposing “your pics give off a ho vibe” and “how’s your summer been” don’t tend to go hand in hand).

A guy (or anyone) thinking that he can gauge whether I’m a slut based on the photos I post.

A guy thinking I give a shit about his opinion on the photos I post.

A guy being excited about the article response I’m currently writing.

I’d now like to include some of the “slutty pictures” that “give off the wrong message” to give you all a better idea of just how “slutty” I am.

CAUTION: these pics may contain the booty. If you can’t handle how “slutty” the human body is, look away – I’d hate to scar my readers for life.

Now, I’d like to address the inequity that is so inherent with this message. I’m not here to rant to you about patriarchy and how sorry I feel for myself. I’ve taken the time to really dissect his message, and it’s led to what I call “A comprehensive guide to when it’s ‘acceptable to post pics of the booty, according to men.'”

When it is ‘acceptable’ to post pics of the booty, according to men

On a fitness Instagram account.

If a female has a “petite” ass so it’s not so glaring and inappropriate!!!!

If it’s from a  bikini competition.

If it’s a progress pic from all the squats a girl has done to acquire said booty.

If you’re a celebrity. Somehow #Goals turns into #Ho real quick when you’re a regular girl and not a celeb.

If you’re a guy mooning the camera because it’s funny.

If you’re a guy wearing a thong as a joke (I’m thinking John Tucker Must Die style).

If you’re a guy in general.

Yeah, that’s pretty much it. IF YOU’RE A MALE.

When it is NOT acceptable to post pics of the booty, according to men

If you’re a female who a) isn’t a celeb b) isn’t on a fitness account and c) doesn’t think it’s a big deal and doesn’t give a fuck who finds it “offensive” in some way.

Alternatively ladies, you have the option to follow “The actual comprehensive guide to when it’s ‘acceptable to post pics of the booty,” which goes as follows:

When it is actually ‘acceptable’ to post pics of the booty

Whenever you damn well please.

Girls shouldn’t be afraid that guys, or anyone, will judge them for posting pics that may expose some skin. The fact that there’s a stigma around the female body is something that needs to be addressed. A girl isn’t a “ho” for posting pics in a small bikini, or for not being afraid of facing the inequity head on.

So, I’ll continue to post booty pics and you’ll all damn well like it.

I almost forgot – in response to your inquiry, my summer’s been really fucking great.

@TheTab