How to nail your girls’ night out in Glasgow

It’s 10pm. You’re late. You were supposed to be at pre drinks two hours ago – but here you are, looking like a 2.5/10, still getting ready. Make-up and clothes are strewn all over your floor and your phone is vibrating every second – probably your pals wondering where the hell you are. You’ve already got a bad feeling about tonight and can envision yourself coming home early at 1am, cheese-and-chips in hand, wondering if the whole escapade was worth the hassle.

Sound familiar?

Girl, stop what you’re doing. You need this guide to nailing your girls’ night out in Glasgow – just follow these easy steps and you’ll be on a straight path from ‘everything’s going wrong’ to ‘SESH ON’.

Get the alcohol in early 

We’ve all been caught out by the 10pm licensing laws and we’ve all felt the hot flush of embarrassment when you run up to the cashier with your £3.99 bottle of Blossom Hill rosé and they look at you with that sad smile – ‘it’s too late’, they say in a patronising tone.

This time, stroll in right after lectures, with a spring in your step. Why not ditch that classic wine and cheap vodka and go for a cheeky bottle of Buckie? It’s cheap, sweet, and gets the job done. When in Glasgow, as they say. Hey, if it’s good enough for monks, it’s good enough for you.

Ditch the standard bev

Sort the pre-drinks location

Hosting pre drinks is more trouble than it’s worth. Everyone leaves their empty bottles, they dirty your (kind of clean) red cups that you stole from Viper, and you’ve got numerous jackets to sort through after people decide they’re going to brave the Glaswegian chill.

Instead, persuade a friend to host – and make sure the flat’s situated in a location that’s not going to cost you an arm and a leg when you roll out of your Network taxi. The nearer Sauchiehall Street, the better.

Get the squad ready

We are all under the acquaintanceship of girl friends who are reluctant to come out. Therefore, you need to put some mad persuasive skills in place. Tried-and-tested methods include: promising them there will be some kind of pre-made punch, convincing them you have some AMAZING drinking games planned (see number five), and picking a venue that no one’s ventured to in a while (i.e. not Viper or Hive).

Oh, and offering to put money towards their post-night out food at Barbecue Kings (but not if it’s Pekora – too expensive).

Punch or cocktails are winners

Pick a lit af outfit

Nailing a night-out-with-the-girls outfit is harder than it sounds, especially in Glasgow. If you’re planning on a techno, Subby night out go for the Adidas trainers, jeans and vintage jacket look. If Kushion or Bamboo is beckoning you, blow the dust off your heels and look out your trusty LBD. If you’re heading to Viper, well… anything goes. You could turn up in your pyjamas and no one would bat an eyelid.

Decide on drinking games

There’s nothing worse than pre drinks when everyone’s sitting around chatting about their degree or that GU Rugby player they got with last week. Same chat, different day. You see the uni gals so much that the conversation occasionally starts to run dry, so we recommend spicing it up with some drinking games. A classic is Never Have I Ever – sure, you all know the ins and outs of everyone’s embarrassing moments and sexual encounters but it doesn’t stop you having a good ol’ laugh at someone else’s expense (the best kind of laugh).

Another good one is Back to Back – two people are picked to stand with their backs to each other and everyone else asks them ‘most likely to…’ questions. These could range from anything from ‘most likely to sit on level 12 of the library’ to ‘most likely to get post-night out food from 7-2-7 consisting of chips and curry sauce, topped with cheese and finished with kebab meat and lashings of mayo’. Whoever feels like it applies to them, drinks. If no one drinks, they both drink. If they both drink, then guess what – they both drink again. Switch pairs when someone finishes their bev.

Lastly, we have the Names game. One person says the name of a celeb (Justin Bieber, for example) and the next person has to say the name of a celeb beginning with B for Bieber, and so on. If it’s a double name (Marilyn Monroe) then you switch directions. Oh, did I mention that you drink while you think of a name? It’s a good one for a lot of laughs and a lot of alcohol consumption.

Feel yo’selves in the club

I’m talking outrageous dancing, shots (Sambuca is usually £1 most places in Glasgow), fighting your way into club photos and generally embarrassing yourselves and having the best time. Surely this is what girls’ night is all about. Forget about boys for the night and focus on quality squad time. Just call yourself Taylor Swift.

Getting behind the bar and pouring drinks equals bonus points

Post night-out activities

Grab yourself something greasy, filling and succulent from Barbeque Kings, Blue Lagoon, or 7-2-7. Cheesy chips – yes. Pizza – yes. Chicken kebab and garlic mayo – yes. Deep fried Mars Bar? You’re in Glasgow and it’s girls’ night – YES. Retreat back to someone’s flat to change into pyjamas, kick off your heels and dissect everything that happened on the night (Snapchat stories are often handy for this).

Don’t forget to down a pint of water – you’ll thank me in the morning when you have a long trek up the Boyd Orr stairs for your 10am lecture.

Hint: Irn Bru is an excellent cure for the hang