How to nail a girls’ night out in Norwich
‘Oh, we’ve missed free entry before 11? YAAAS ANOTHER TRIPLE’
The ideal girls’ night out in Norwich is a true art form. We might be small and rural but we know how to turn up when we want to.
Obviously you’ve already pre’d in your room as you plastered on your makeup, and then again at the designated friend’s house where you took approximately 600 selfies. You’ve negotiated a lift off your mum or your sister because buses only run until 7pm and a taxi is extortionate.
You could try and be classy, start in Mr Apostle’s Apothecary, or the Gin Palace or Be at One, if cocktails are your thing – or head straight to Spoons if you’re just there to get smashed.*terrible quality but obligatory picture uploaded to instagram at 2am with the caption LOVE THESE GIRLS*
Norwich boasts several Wetherspoons for your girls night out. The Glasshouse is your best bet because it smells the best and has a crackin’ full length mirror for all those mirror pics.
Whichever you choose, a pitcher of Sex on the Beach is the pinnacle of any Norwich girl’s night out. No glasses though obvs, just three straws please.
The final pre-drinking stop off, the last one because it guaranteed to get you drunk – The Mischief. The Mischief is hard to explain to anyone who’s never been – how did we ever find out it was good? why is it so good? what the hell is a skittles drink? why is it a triple not a treble? There are no answers, but it is the holy grail of any night out in Norwich.
“Oh, we’ve missed free entry before 11? YAAAS ANOTHER TRIPLE!”you just can’t get this anywhere else
In the club
If you’re ending up in a club for the final hurrah of your GNO, there are only a few club options in humble little Norwich. If grinding the night away to Nicki Minaj is your thing it’ll be Mantra, if it’s more like pop mixes of Skepta it’ll be Mercy, if it’s 2k9 Britney go to Fluke and if you’re with your Mum it’ll have to be Chicago’s.
If you’re feeling brave hit up Brooklyn’s(/New York New York/Bronx) on your way down Prince of Wales for £1 sours shots. It’s honestly best for everyone if you’re absolutely hammered by this point to stop you feeling slightly sick at queuing for 45 minutes in the rain and paying £6 entry (£10 if it’s bank holiday or Christmas) to a club you’re not even sure you like that much.
Whichever club you end up in, you and your girl squad will spend your time evenly split between avoiding dodgy men, shouting SHOTS, queuing for the toilet (and making ALL the friends), and wondering when you can leave to get food.SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS EVERYBODY
Sidenote: How is it possible to lose all your friends in Mantra EVERY TIME, it’s not even big? Did they sneak into VIP? Are they in the two-toilet cubicle? They wouldn’t be upstairs would they, no-one goes up there? Are they outside? Don’t go out the front to look for them though cos that one big bouncer is never gonna let you back in, he ‘remembers faces’.
Finally, its time for food. Norwich is not blessed with a 24 hour McDonalds in the city centre, so your options are open. If you’re a girls night out veteran then you and your friends will have decided which of Prince of Wales’ finest is your ride or die cheesy chip stop off.
Said cheesy chips will be eaten as you try to call a taxi. No one knows any numbers except from “TREBLE SIX TREBLE THREE” which you proceed to shout over each other. Classic Norfolk though and ABC “only do airport runs after 3am love,” so no luck there.THE DREAM
You’ll head to a taxi rank, either Beeline or Courtesy, and judge everyone in there for being drunken messes, as you dribble down yourself and screech at each other like the classy gals you are. In the taxi, you’ll piss off the driver, drop all your change and hang your head out of the window like a dog in an attempt to stomach the country lanes.
After some outrage that a 20 minute journey can possibly be £15 and “Amy, fuck’s sake, can you not just walk from here cos its £3 a stop?!”, you’ll finally stumble up your path home and pass out in bed, heels and eyelashes still on.
Bring on the group chat in the morning.
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