We asked guys what they think of girls making the first move
Short answer: it’s better than OK
There’s this age-old stereotype which has long surrounded relationships: that men should always make the first move and that if a woman does it, she’s a disgrace because she is breaking important social rules about gender roles and male dominance.
Well, these so-called “rules” were meant to be broken, and women around the world have magnificently risen to the challenge to pretty solid results.
According to a study done by online dating site OkCupid, women who make the first move start more successful relationships. The study has shown that when a woman sends the first message to a man, the exchange is more likely to turn into an actual conversation. The study also discovered that women are two and a half times more likely to get back a mutual response if they take the first step.
These findings make sense, but I was curious to see what men actually think, particularly those from the younger generation because they have been hit the hardest by the new wave of girl power.
So we asked a few young men how they feel when the woman makes the first move.
David-Alan Green, 19
“When a girl makes the first move she makes me feel more comfortable to share my feelings and I feel special, so I’m more willing to work towards something more.”
Siddarth Senthil, 19
“I think it’s fantastic if a girl is confident to ask the guy out. It is ridiculous to think that societal norms dictate guys to be the ones to do the asking out every time. Basically, people should just be vocal about their feelings toward whoever they like. The problem is we all hide our thoughts and live in a world governed by assumptions. If you like someone, just tell them. What does gender have to do with any of this?”
Kofi Dinizulu, 18
“I’ve never had a girl outright make the first move. I have some social anxiety that makes it hard for me to make the first move with girls I like so I would find it really cool if a girl approached me and took the pressure off me to initiate things.”
Sayem Ather, 20
“I love girls like that! It shows confidence and makes things a whole lot easier. Also, it just seems natural. If guys can do it, girls can too.”
Nawapat Kaweeyanun, 20
“I admire them because we as men are under a cultural stereotype. Frankly, that’s a lot of pressure and it’s stressful. Personally, I believe dating is an equal endeavor. When we are asked, we don’t have to pursue them and we feel appreciated.”
Antonio Gonzalez, 23
“It is not a bad idea for girls to make the first move. In fact, it makes guys life a whole lot easier considering possible rejection is typically what holds us back. But frankly, I would relish the moment more if a clear signal is given, like a mesmerizing smile or thoughtful words that reassures your doubts and boost your confidence as a guy.”
Varun Rao, 20
“Women should feel more comfortable with making the first move because today women are as independent as men and are breaking boundaries in the roles they play in relationships and families. I think the next step for women is to break social stereotypes about who could be the dominant force in a relationship. Turns out it isn’t always the man.”
As it turns out, for the girl to make the first move is certainly appreciated, even welcomed. So to all girls out there, push yourself to initiate contact – you never know what’s going to happen.
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