Ladies, never lower your standards for a man


babe  • 

Ladies, never lower your standards for a man

Don’t let a man’s mistreatment define the way you should always be treated

“You’re too picky.”

“You’ll never find a man that meets your standards.”

“Real men aren’t like that, this isn’t some kind of fairytale.”

These are all things girls have been told our entire lives will never happen because of our high standards. They never fail to make us question – since when has it become such a horrible thing to want the best for yourself? Unrealistic goals are understandably criticized when it comes to having high standards, but there should be no scrutiny towards simply wanting a person who compliments your life goals. A person that you know will treat you right.

Becoming quite familiar with the stereotypes that surround us “inevitable cat ladies” over the years, it’s time to point out that they are undoubtedly untrue. Contrary to popular belief, we do not shun those men who fail to meet specific height requirements nor do we care how many figures are in your yearly salary. Much like the rest of the female population, we who do possess high standards are much too busy working endlessly toward stabilizing our own careers than to worry about how our future partner is going to ‘support us’. And unlike in fairy tales, we are fully aware that reality will inevitably strike any of our relationships and that sooner or later we will realize neither us or our partners are perfect.

Striving for the kind of perfection that can only be seen in these fairy tales is beyond unrealistic. However, what is realistic is not settling for a man who disrespects the morals we uphold for ourselves.

We have either seen or experienced it time and time again – a naive girl drops her morals and before she can even take a second breath, her world is turned upside down and she is left inescapably crushed by the boy she settled so easily for. In dropping our standards, we forget exactly what it is we stand for and thus what we deserve in return. Without standards we become blinded by the toxic man who stands in front of us, the man whose attention we crave, and we voluntarily forget that this man before us is by no means a man who deserves our love.

Again we must question, what is so wrong with having high standards?

And again we answer, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

Misconceptions constantly surround women who defend their worth with high standards. We are told we are selfish and that it’s wrong to want so much from a single man. Yet we are expected to give that same man much more than what can possibly be achieved. We are repeatedly told we will regret not giving into the hookup culture our generation seems to thrive off of, and that a man’s aggressive crudeness is to be accepted. But what is not to be accepted is the regret we feel after lowering our standards for an unworthy man and falling victim to an unhealthy relationship, all because we decided to lower our standards.

It is wrong to think a woman with high standards is closed off to the world, or that we are only in pursuit of perfection when in reality it is only genuine effort and respect we strive toward? A woman with high standards merely knows and defines her own worth without a man’s influence in trying to redefine her wants and needs. Realizing that perfection is unachievable, we understand that effort and respect are to always be expected. We have given up the possibility of regretting that second or third chance, and have learned the difference between mutual and one-sided love.

Showing a man we fully respect ourselves before even beginning to allow them to try and respect us is exactly why you should never lower your standards for a man. Because upholding these standards is not being picky, it is knowing what you want and not settling for less than you deserve.