A girl’s guide to dealing with fuckboys

We’ve all fallen for their “games” and actually thought they were “different” at one point. We’ve all spent nights crying and cursing them out but we’ve also spent nights not stressing them.

They pull you in, make you get somewhat attached, and then in a heartbeat without even thinking twice, throw you to the curb.

Every girl has met one or more of these four scenarios:

A fuckboy is a guy who will call you a prude if you don’t want to sleep with him, but a slut if you want to fuck someone else.

A fuckboy is a guy who will disrespect you and try to get with you in the same breath.

A fuckboy is a guy who will tell you “you’re not like the other girls” like that’s a compliment because he doesn’t have any respect for them.

A fuckboy is a guy who will tell you “my exes were all crazy” even though you know them to be totally normal.

Ladies, here’s a small guide on steering clear of a fuckboy:

Expect nothing, absolutely nothing

So you’ve been hooking up for five months now and winter break is coming up. You’re thinking okay maybe this will continue since he texts you everyday and sees you every breathing moment. Lets just say its best not to expect anything at all because it’s apparently fair game now to text you the night before spring semester classes start and say:

Learn to read fuckboy lingo

Freshman you: OMG! He’s insinuating we would want to cuddle, the first cuddle as potential boyfriend and girlfriend, I should introduce him to my family.

Junior year you: I mean you could be watching me eat pizza? lol and be quiet while I finish my show?

Still expect nothing.

Never admit your feelings to a fuckboy

If you ever feel like you have to, picture Bryson Tiller sitting next you whispering “Don’t”

That’s like handing him your heart on a silver platter. He gets to rip it to shreds. The second you admit is the second you’ve lost. If anything, always deny until you’re 100% sure.

If he sends cute texts like these:

Remember to interpret the lingo: “Sex is good. More?”

Once everything is A-okay again, simply respond with: Thanks.

Make him question the response and what he just said, turn the tables on him. It may sound dry and or rude but then again that fuckboy’s head is already exponentially larger than an average male’s.

Pay attention to the timeline

You’re in college: almost everything you’ve done has had a timeline leading up to it.

Your fuckboy has managed to lock you up into hooking up with no other boys, while never actually having to take you out, or god forbid see you outside of bars or your bedroom.

Say goodbye to your days of parading down to the bars with your girlfriends and not not receiving 1093 texts asking where you are or if you’re down for sex when you get home.

If you’re cool with just hooking up, all the power to you, strong soul, but if you’re looking for a relationship, the hooking up phase should last no more than 5-6 weeks. At that point if he still “doesn’t really wanna date in college,” get out.

So, ladies, in the words of Kanye, “if you follow these instructions exactly, you might be able to pull you a rapper, a NBA player, hell at least a dude with a car.”

So drop the expectations of finding your perfect college relationship, learn how to analyze fuckboy texts like a pro, and know that behind every “ur cute lol”, is a “I just had sex with one of your best friends in her car” fuckboy.

You’re better than that, girl.

Feature image by @loloaynproductions

Related stories recommended by this writer:

● The guide to texting fuckboys
● We’ve translated these fuckboy phrases for you, so now you have no excuse for texting him back
● If even three of these things are happening in the relationship, you’re DEFINITELY the side bitch

@TheTab