So it’s your first time masturbating

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So it’s your first time masturbating

Here’s your guide

Every girl should know how to masturbate – from not stressing, to the first steps in pleasuring yourself, to what vibrator you should start with. 

Most girls aren’t comfortable getting acquainted with their vagina, and mainly because they don’t know how to treat it right.

It’s time we get comfortable with masturbation

The first step towards hitting that ‘O’ is accepting that masturbation is normal. It relieves stress, it can help you sleep and it boosts your mood.

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You know how you’re always hornier when you’re on your period? Well masturbating can help suppress period pains when menstruating, so it’s a win-win! (Plus it feels fucking amazing.) Masturbation is a healthy part of life for both women and men, so lie back and relax.

The next step is setting the mood

It’s often hard to reach climax after a long, stressful day, so here are some steps to set yourself up for the best possible experience.

Turn down the lights: While sex with the lights on can be incredible, it’s often hard to imagine you are somewhere else (or with someone else) if you leave the lights on. After spending all day in an office or classroom with blaring lights, your eyes deserve a rest anyway.

Take a bath or light some candles: It’s easier to reach climax when you are warm, so soaking in a hot tub or lighting some candles to warm the room and set the mood will benefit you. (Tip: leaving socks on while masturbating or covering your feet with a blanket will also help you reach climax.)

Try out music: Some people prefer to masturbate with music because they say it helps with rhythm, while others prefer complete silence. Give both a try and see what works for you.

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Don’t be afraid of getting intimate with yourself

Before jumping into masturbation you’ll want to turn yourself on. Using coconut oil or any other oil can help with this. After you get out of a shower or bath, rub some oil on yourself, allowing yourself to linger on sensitive spots like the nipples and inside of the thighs.

While many are uncomfortable with the thought of doing so, I promise it is so worth it. The more turned on you are, the easier it will be to climax, and the better the climax will be. Plus it can help you reach climax multiple times, and who doesn’t want that?

Get to know your vagina

This is your chance to really find out what you like. You don’t have to depend on anyone trying to navigate your vagina hoping they hit the jackpot. Masturbation is different for everyone and what feels good to one person won’t necessarily work for another. Try out a few spots until you find what feels right for you.

Once you do find something that works, stick with it for a bit. There is no right or wrong way, so if it feels good to you, it’s good enough.

Find your clitoris

While the process is certainly different for everyone, most people can agree on one thing: the clit is the place to beFor some people it’s easy to locate, and for others it’s a bit more settled in. If you are having a hard time finding the right spot, try using a mirror. Sometimes you need to spread your fingers while pulling up to really uncover it.

Try rubbing your clitoris gently in circles, alternating speeds. Starting slow and speeding up as you are reaching climax is a common method.

Slip a finger in there

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Try using two hands. While rubbing your clit, slide a finger in – usually less is more – and try making a “come hither” motion against the top of your vagina. Once you find a speed that feels good, stick to that rhythm for a bit as you let tension build up. Then you can try speeding it up a bit, or sliding your finger in and out.

It’s all about the two-in-one action.

Climaxing

Reaching orgasm can be confusing the first few times around – you might get close and think you’ve made it, but when you really orgasm there won’t be questions surrounding it. Your heart rate will pick up, your breathing will get faster, and you will feel an unique kind of pressure down there. 

The sensation will continue to get stronger, so don’t stop as soon as you begin feeling these things. Keep going until you can tell you’ve made it over the edge. Even once you are sure you have orgasmed, follow through. Continuation of fingering and other play down there will lengthen the orgasm and make it more intense. 

Try watching porn

PORN. IS. FOR. WOMEN. Watching porn before and during masturbation can really help you set the mood. When searching porn sites, try searching by category and select “for women.” Not only will this get you in the mood, but it might inspire you to try something new. Porn is all about exploration, so whether you’ve watched it before, or this is your first time, remember that self pleasure is a learning curve.

Use a vibrator

If your finger isn’t enough, or you just want to try out something new, order yourself a vibrator. It takes some time for a lot of girls to get over the fear of sex toys. Let me tell you now, once you get over the weird thoughts, your sex toy will become your best friend.

Start with something easy like a bullet – they’re cheap, really discrete but surprisingly powerful, and honestly you will never be bothered waiting for someone to make you come again.

Bullet vibrators are the go-to in the sex toy world – they are simple, easy to use and always get the job done. The bullet is great for pinpointing your most sensitive spot – usually the clitoris. However, if you are interested in “edging” – the act of holding yourself close to orgasm before actually hitting it – the bullet can be great for that to. Use it in slightly less sensitive areas and work slowly toward the more sensitive parts. Edging usually leads to the strongest orgasms. 

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Masturbate with your partner

Masturbation isn’t just for single people, or something you do when your partner isn’t available. There is nothing sexier that talking to your partner about what they like and watching them get themselves off. You will learn a lot about their body through this and you might pick up on a few things you didn’t realize turned them on. So try masturbating in tandem and skip the sex next time around (toys included).

If none of these things work the first time, there is nothing wrong with you. Sometimes it take a few tries to get it right. Take it slow, carve out a suitable amount of time and think of it as a multi-step process. The ‘O’ will be worth it.

@carolinephinney