Kim Kardashian’s diet plan never seemed that intense to me, but this woman dropped her baby weight faster than it takes Kylie Jenner to change her hair color. Kim Kardashian and her body are plastered everywhere – and today is her birthday – so I thought I’d give it a try. Why not see what it’s like to live a week in the life of Kim Kardashian through her diet?
The Atkins Diet is Kim Kardashian’s weight plan. After North was born, Kim adopted this plan to help lose excess fat and get her famous body back. The Atkins Diet is a low carbohydrate diet that emphasizes eating protein and low starch vegetables. Simple carbohydrates are almost completely eliminated, and yet, after knowing all of this, I still tried it for seven days.
I woke up at lunch time and made my way to the dining hall for a nice carb free salad with a fat-free dressing, Kardashian style. For a midday snack I bought a hummus and carrot combo and allowed myself to indulge in two carrots instead of one, like Kim did, since they were small. I finally made it through to dinner and paralleled Kim’s grilled halibut and steamed green beans. Unfortunately, the dining hall doesn’t offer such extravagant delicacies, so I settled for some delicious dry turkey steak and steamed carrots.
I woke up late and was forced to make use of the food in my suite since I’m a sophomore living without a kitchen. I mixed some yogurt and granola in a mug and crunched on my breakfast while imagining it was a bagel with extra butter. For lunch, I had a gluten-free beef taco that was so chewy I had to throw it out. If you’re gluten free, I suggest just ditching the shell altogether because I think I just learned I enjoy extra gluten in my carbs. At dinner, I realized that I’d have to rearrange all the dining hall meals to half portions to stick to Kim’s way. I ate plain chicken with zucchini and squash and ditched the mashed potatoes.
On Fridays, I normally enjoy my break between classes at Pavement with an everything bagel with sausage, egg, and cheese to celebrate a long week. However, this Friday I fought the urge and walked straight to the Warren dining hall to enjoy an omelette with mushrooms and spinach. For dinner, my friends all wanted to go to Chipotle and my envy for Kim began to dissipate. I resented Kim for ever introducing me to this diet in the first place. I opted out of Chipotle and instead ate a bland dinner of pork loin and broccoli with brown rice on the side.
It’s Saturday. The day of staying out until 1am and getting pizza to celebrate a good night. I knew I’d have to fight with my party self later that night the moment that I woke up. I prepared all day by keeping myself always full. I ate a couple apples, hummus, salad, celery, and almonds. It was as if I was going into hibernation that night. I ended up succeeding though. I made it to my bed without the smell of pizza on my clothing and dreamt of the good old days of burgers and fries before this all began.
I had a three hour practice before I got brunch. I made my way to the dining hall and enjoyed a delicious bowl of oatmeal. In Kim’s plan, she eats oatmeal every day so I figured it would only be right if I choked down the mushy oats. I hate oatmeal and not even the thought of looking like Kim made it taste better. For a snack throughout the day I ate, surprise, another apple. Apples were beginning to look like the enemy. My stomach told me it was time for dinner and I mirrored Kim’s seasoned turkey breast with seasoned vegetables with turkey slices and peas.
I got breakfast at Blue State Coffee on campus. I allowed myself to get a bagel, but Kim “guts” her bagels. So, I had to debagel my bagel. I stripped the bagel of its insides before consuming it; I felt like a monster. I put lox on the bagel for some added nutrition as well. Plus, it felt fancy. I snacked on trail mix throughout the day and moved onto dinner to have a delicious dinner of, yes, you guessed it, salad and chicken again.
The final day had finally arrived. I woke up feeling determined to finish what I’d started and finally feel like Kim. I ate yogurt and blueberries for breakfast as I looked down in appreciation of my un-bloated stomach. I got a green smoothie for lunch that tasted like bad lettuce, but it’s OK because it’s day seven, the day where you see a change in your body. I went dinner and happily ingested rosemary chicken with cooked carrots.
When I sat down to reflect on my week I realized I felt no more like Kim than I did last week. My body, aside from being less bloated, looked and felt exactly the same as always. I’ve never thought that much about food in a week than I did during this diet, and I hope I never do again because it’s toxic to your mental health.
This diet is overrated. I didn’t feel like Kim Kardashian and I didn’t feel too hot either. What I did feel was hungry. We need to stop caring about the “freshman 15” and start living. Go out to eat at the coolest food spots on your campus with friends. Have that slice of pizza after a night out. Those are the moments you’ll remember, not the time you tried to embody a celebrity. Kim’s routine for perfection is exhausting and overrated. I’m going to a burger joint to enjoy a shake and fries.
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