Angus Thongs and Perfect Snogging shaped a generation of women
ACE GANG, IT’S BOY STALKING TIME
2008 was a bloody weird time for teenage girls. Do you remember Angus Thongs and Perfect Snogging?
We all thought T Swift’s ‘You Belong With Me’ video was #relatable, and the greatest betrayal we had yet experienced was not being put in our mate’s top friends on Myspace. Hormones were rampant and Jack Wills gilets were legit.
Boys persisted to linger on the opposite side of the school hall at discos, and rightly so, for they were completely unaware of the ‘snogging scale’ and ‘elastic band theory’ that Georgia Nicholson had engrained within the minds of every impressionable female teen.
How naive they were to the fact that we all believed we could bag ourselves an Aaron Johnson (pre-marriage to 50 year old) through being ‘just the way’ we were, despite having over-plucked brows and zero chill when it came to getting a text back. What did they know about the difference between ‘see YOU later’ and ‘SEE you later’?.
We girls had been enlightened and left the opposite sex behind, clueless.
Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging taught us pretty much all we thought we needed to know. From how to go about winning the love of a sex god to embracing our underdeveloped nungas. It encapsulated all that we had thus been taught of feminism and led us to believe that we were wise beyond our years if we’d gone further with a boy than ‘snogging with upper body fondling’…
Instilling a sense of womanhood, the film served to empower a whole generation of girls who would now turn up to parties dressed as hors d’oeuvres on the off chance some 10/10 might think it was endearing.
Georgia made M&S knickers cool and had us convinced that if you sat on your hands long enough and grabbed your tits it would feel like someone else was doing it. She led us to believe that a Speedo swimsuit and botched fake tan job would encourage boys from the year above to dump their Slaggy Lindsay girlfriends on the basis that we were kooky and a bit different. Cue pre-pubescent Johnson, ‘you’re a perfect nutter Georgia’.
Basically, despite giving us a complete false sense of security, Louise Rennison’s character was a model for girl kind.
We all had a Jas, who, though tragic, had our backs in times of tribulation. We all thought our parents were cringe and from the city of sad. We all fancied any new, mildly attractive boys at school and let nothing stop us from having the sickest 15th birthday bash in town.
Our Mums had Bridget, but we had Georgia, and in all areas of life we were trying to emulate her
For a while, maybe too long, dressing up as boys for lols and thinking ‘The Stiff Dylans’ had penned ‘Ever Fallen In Love’ was deemed completely OK. Not to mention rating each other on levels of attractiveness at sleepovers and shunning thongs on the basis they were only for those from ‘vulgaria’.
We’d gone mad for the endeavours of the Ace Gang and tried with all our might to channel their top banter.
We cried when Dave The Laugh (who got really fit and appeared in the BT adverts) got pied, and died inside when Peter Dyer opened his front door for snogging lessons.
Angus Thongs and Perfect Snogging was a story for the ages and one that we will return to for years to come when pondering whether or not to wear a bra to a party.