Everything gluten free girls are tired of hearing

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Everything gluten free girls are tired of hearing

‘I tried it being gluten free once, it sucked’

Whether you’re celiac or gluten intolerant, you’ve faced your fair share of skepticism.  For whatever reason, the moment the words “I don’t eat gluten” come out of your mouth, the responses range from an eyebrow raise, sheer disbelief or in some cases, unadulterated sympathy.

What immediately follows is a patient explanation of how you are still – somehow – living a life without gluten and an explanation on the “who, what, how.”

gluten-free-loz

It’s annoying, it’s repetitive and we’re all bored of hearing…

Gluten is a myth

1. “Why are you so difficult?”

2. “That pizza looks gross.”

3. “But have you been to the doctors?”

4. “You’re so boring.”

5. “I honestly think I’d rather die.”

6. “But there’s like not that much gluten in this.”

7. “Gluten free food tastes like cardboard, I don’t get why you eat it.”

8. “I’ve seen you eat pasta before.”

9. “I tried to go gluten free once.”

10. “But would gluten kill you?”

11. “What would happen if you ate toast?”

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12. “You are so fucking annoying to get takeout with.”

13. “Hahahahahahahaha.”

14. “Sorry, I forgot to use gluten free bread but you’ll be fine, right?”

15. “So it just makes you tired? But I’m always tired.”

16. “I just got you normal beer because the gluten free one was double the price.”

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Cheers bro

17. “How come I can have gluten if you can’t?”

18. “Is gluten unhealthy?”

19. “Please eat it, just for me.”

20. “Stop being ridiculous, of course we can use the same butter knife.”

21. “Isn’t celiac a type of vegetable?”

22. “Were you gluten free when you were a baby?”

23. “Do you even know what gluten is?

24. “Who said you can’t eat gluten?”

25. “You know you can’t actually be allergic to gluten, I read an article about it.”

26. “Does that mean we can’t get a pizza?”

27. “I love cookies too much to be gluten free.”

28. “Are you just another girl jumping on the bandwagon?”

29. “I slipped some into your lunch and you’re fine – it’s obviously a placebo effect thing.”

30. “How can you tell if something has gluten in it?”

31. “It won’t be fashionable in a year.”

32. “Does it make you lose weight?”

33. “Have you actually been tested for it?”

34. “I’m offended you’re not eating the cake I made.”

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35. “It doesn’t actually make you throw up.”

36. “Doesn’t vodka have gluten in it?”

37. “So you basically starve yourself?”

38. “Why would you do that to yourself?”

39. “When are you gonna start eating gluten again?”

40. “Can’t you just eat a bit?”

41. “Can you eat rice?”

sdvs

42. “What does gluten free pasta taste like?”

43. “I bet you spend so much money on gluten free food.”

44. “Gluten free stuff’s really bad for you.”

45. “I thought gluten intolerance made you super skinny.”

46. “I don’t know how you do it.”

47. “But what about bagels?”

48. “Have you ever actually eaten it?”

49. “It’s bullshit anyway – you can definitely have a bit”

50. “What about cookie butter? Can you eat that if it’s not in cookie form?”

51. “Is there gluten in French fries?”

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52. “Obviously we can’t get pizza now”

53. “What do you eat at Christmas?”

54. “Are you vegan too?”

55. “How much would I have to pay you to make you eat a bagel”

56. “Haha, everyone come laugh while I offer you bread.”

57. “What actually happens to you if you eat it?”

58. “Does it give you the shits?”

59. “Don’t be boring, have a beer.”

60. “But you haven’t lost any weight, so why do you do it?”

61. “Oh my God, you poor thing!”

Get it away from me
Get it away from me

@laurarfitz

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