Honestly though, would you even trust a guy to take the male contraceptive pill?

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Honestly though, would you even trust a guy to take the male contraceptive pill?

Or the injection they’re fussing so much about

Just as the spectre of gender equal contraception appears on the misty horizon, men have decided that they hate it already. They just won’t take it. They’ve stomped their little feet and complained about acne and low libido and all the things that women have historically always dealt with on hormonal contraception and said no, sorry, enough, not for us.

It’s easy to get angry about this. Ask any woman and they’ll tell you it’s hypocritical. They’ll tell you that the contraceptive pill was originally intended to be taken by men anyway, but was fobbed off on us because they didn’t like the side effects. They’ll point out that it’s bullshit that we’re left with the spots and sore nipples while they live in a utopia of free condoms.

But before you release that anger in a series of tweets where you don’t spellcheck your incandescent rage, consider this: If we lived in an ideal world where the burden of hormonal contraception was on men, would you trust them to take it?

A survey from Anglia Ruskin University seems to show we’re not so sure. 50 per cent of women said they would not trust men to take the male pill if it existed. One guy commented on an article we did on male birth control saying: “I heard it’s 95 per cent effective. Does that mean 1 in every 20 f*cks makes a baby? That’s not so great.”

Does that mean one in every 20 fucks makes a baby (he’s asterisked it out himself). Just let that sink in. Are these the people you want to entrust with the responsibility of leaving you unfertilised? People who are judging their odds on one in 20 fucks. 

Years of sexist jokes about girls lying about being on the pill to ‘trap’ men show that despite coming on leaps and bounds in terms of equality, for some men there’s an inherent distrust about birth control.

Why should it be any different for girls with guys? It might not be right, but it’s a fact. As many a clucking mum would say, you can’t trust them as far as you could throw ’em.

By the time they’re in their twenties most girls who take the pill are old hands at it. They know how to skip and when to run packs together. They know what time to take it each day. They have alarms on their phones. They know the deal if they miss one or get sick after taking it. And they know this because it’s ingrained in them after years of being told to take it seriously. And because, obviously, if they do fuck up, they’re the pregnant ones.

In practice it’s good that we’re taking steps – albeit dragging our feet on them – to make contraception a bit more equal. In theory though, I still wouldn’t trust a guy if he told me he was on the pill. It might be a trap.

@rosielanners