IDFWU
I read somewhere that people who swear more are more intelligent, and honestly, that’s probably about right. Foul-mouthed people have better vocabularies and, presumably, better lives. If you or someone you love knows the universal truth that there’s no situation which can’t be improved with a well-placed fuck, then these gifts are for them.
You’re fucking welcome.
A swearing colouring book, for creative bitches
And some brutal stationery for them to use in it
A card to cheer up your friend whose fucking ex-boyfriend never deserved her
An iPhone cover for someone who is too busy for your shit
A present for the talented interior decorator who’s also a bit of a cunt tbh
For the artsy bitch in your life who needs some motivation to be her best self
A festive gift for a miserable old bitch who fucking hates christmas
Some sparkly socks for a fabulous but fucking antisocial babe
A mug for a foul-mouthed fairy princess
Or this one for a fucking lady
A lovely gift for your fucking blue granny
Inspiration for all the caffeine-deprived misanthropic cunts in your life
Some Christmas tree decorations for your whore friend
A badass bomber jacket for a babe who should not be fucked with
And this denim one for an independent bitch
A nametag necklace that’s more apt than their actual goddamn name
Or some bling for a bitch with trust issues
A ring for a bad bitch you might like to marry someday