Things we all fight about with our Significant Other

After dating for almost 2 years, you acquire a lot of knowledge about what it takes to maintain a successful relationship. No relationship is perfect and there are always going to be fights – it’s a given.

So here we are, Livi and Konrad as The Tab power couple laying out some of the most classic fights you’ve had or will have with your significant other…

Making it Facebook Official

Out there for the world to know I’m taken since Jan 2k15.

“Why do those guys keep chirpsing you on social media?”

“Well… guess what’s going to let them know you’re taken honey? A relationship update on good old Facebook.”

Shock horror, the embarrassment, the social cliché of it all. Tough luck, it’s going to have to be done. Enjoy this fight, because it probably means it’s early days and you’re still having a lot of sex.

Who is that slut?!

“Who the fuck is this slut you keep liking pictures of? Do you know her – No Are you going to unfollow her – Yeah.”

“If you ever want to lay another finger on me then you’re going to have to block that bitch.”

End of story.

Why do you have him on snapchat? 

puppy love

“You have got with him before, why would you want to continue to see his life roll out via a Snapchat story. You shouldn’t want that.”

“You probably only have him on Snapchat to make me jealous. So fucking delete him. Actually, I’ve already done it. It’s done.”

Bye Ben. No more wanking over my girlfriend for you.

You did not just Instagram that picture of me! 

“Oh my god! What will your mates think? That you have a fat, ugly girlfriend with enormous arms!”

“UGH. Why did you have to take that from the worst angle. Everyone is going to think I’m punching now. Which is a joke, because you’re the one punching…”

Why don’t you Instagram more pictures of me? 

I’m saying “You better make me look like a model – if not, I’ll kill you.”

“You know your friend Matt, he Instagrams the nicest pictures of his girlfriend saying how beautiful she is.”

“WHY DON’T I GET THAT?”

“What’s wrong with me. Why when we go to get coffee do you never just take a candid photo of me looking like a model. WHY DON’T YOU LOVE ME?”

Why would you want to dress like that? 

I want to burn these shorts.

“I can see through that top, and your shorts are so short you could be naked. You are clearly looking for attention off other guys.”

“No one is going to look at you and presume you’ve got a boyfriend. Please put that t-shirt on that I got you for Christmas that has my face on it. And maybe throw a Burkha on for good measure. Much better…”

Stop watching the football. 

Throwback to when I dragged Livi along to watch Arsenal

“How many hours of your life is being taken up by watching the football? It’s a waste of time, and frankly you staring at men on TV for that many hours is actually making me question if you’re attracted to me.”

“You’re so obsessed with all the footballers. You look up Mesut Ozil on Instagram all the time. It’s freaking me out.”

“Have you got something you’d like to tell me?”

Why have you deleted me off Find Friends. 

Why aren’t you in the same room as me?

“What you don’t like me knowing where you are? Why is that? What are you getting up to when I’m in seminars?”

“Oh what you deleted the app because you don’t like your friends seeing how much time you spend at mine when you’re “at the library.” – Okay yeah fair enough.

You’re not going on holiday without me. 

“Wait what?! You’re going to Madrid that weekend in November I had mentally set aside for us to spend permanently in bed. THIS IS NOT OKAY.”

“When else can we have sex for 24 hours straight? Spanish guys are creepy and you have blonde hair. This is sketchy. I wasn’t allowed to go to Maga so you going to Madrid is a joke and it’s definitely not happening.”

Why haven’t you texted me back.  

Loooooooool

A classic.

“As if you text anyone other than me! You should be there ready and waiting just in case I text you with something extremely important.”

“What if that was a text saying I’ve been attacked or shot and you just took 10 minutes to reply. I could have died.”

“I hope you feel really bad about this!”

You watched that episode without me. 

“How dare you. After everything we’ve been through and this is what you do to me? You watched The Apprentice behind my back. How will I ever trust you again?”

“We’re breaking up.”