I don’t care if you think being a feminist makes me unattractive
‘Minus your personality you’re an 8/10’
It’s not a regular occurrence to be asked on a night out what you believe in as a feminist. But recently, a guy in the club asked me about it. With the confidence of a few drinks, I responded to his question in a pretty standard manner and we ended up getting into a topical conversation.
It was all fun and games until “so if you believe in all of this, does that mean I can comment details of your past relationship history on your articles?”. And out came the good old slut-shaming. Not only did he start spewing out a load of made up crap, but he also decided to let me know that minus my personality I’m an 8/10. All of this because I’m a feminist.
If only that was a one off. As 2016 slowly comes to an end you’d think people would’ve learned something, yet the idea that feminists are unattractive is something that remains prevalent, especially among guys in their twenties. The number of times I’ve had to clarify that I’m not a “man-hating psycho” is actually kind of ridiculous. Being a feminist is not something I should have to justify, yet sometimes I almost get the feeling that some men are actually scared of feminists… we don’t bite.
Milo Yiannopoulos once said: “Everyone knows that becoming a feminist makes a woman less marriageable, more crass and generally just unpleasant to be around.”
Wanting equality for both women and men across the globe has nothing to do with the ridiculous stereotypes that somehow still exist. This idea that feminism can be put into one box is just wrong. Yes, as a movement it strives to achieve equality for both genders, but there are in fact different types of feminists that have different ideas and focus on different goals.
Feminism isn’t all that you see on the internet and women freeing the nipple isn’t even half of it. With the aim of demolishing the concept of the patriarchy, the movement needs men too. Most of us completely disagree with the belief that women are better than men and think that anti-male feminists are opposing the fundamental principles. Just because women face more oppression, doesn’t mean that men aren’t oppressed too. The all too common misconception that feminists hate men stems from years of misconceptions and is not only outdated but also ignorant.
I believe that all women and girls across the globe shouldn’t be denied access to an education. I believe that maternity and paternity leave should be distributed equally so that men are just as able to bond with their children. I believe that women shouldn’t have to fear becoming victims of rape, sexual assault or FGM. If that makes me unattractive to you, then that’s your problem, not mine.
As an ideology, people are bound to disagree with feminism and therefore find those who share its ideas unattractive. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and there are many people who choose not to identify as feminists. One of the main points of feminism is to show that a woman’s worth is not equated by her physical attractiveness or whether men find her attractive. What someone else thinks of your appearance doesn’t dictate the other aspects of your life.
Chances are if you speak to someone that insults you for your beliefs, they’re not the type of person you should be dedicating your time to anyway.
Being a feminist makes me who I am. It influences what I do and how I think and I actively involve myself in trying to make a difference. Maybe that makes me an 8/10, but I couldn’t care less.