‘I withdrew from MSU because of how they handled my rape’

Meagan Pederson was a freshman here at Michigan State excited to be accepted on a full ride scholarship into the school of her dreams. She went to class, ate in the dining hall and hung out with her friends just like a normal student would. On Labor Day weekend, that all changed for her when a  friend whom she had started having casual sex with forced himself on her. Just because you’ve had sex before doesn’t mean you’re guaranteed it again, and Meagan’s pleas of “stop” and “no” were her way of not consenting. After about 30 minutes, he eventually stopped. “I wouldn’t want you to be in pain,” she recalled him saying, but the damage had already been done.

She was in so much shock that she couldn’t report it. She stated in a Facebook post about the incident “I kept telling myself that I couldn’t have been raped, I couldn’t have been raped. I thoroughly convinced myself that.” When she confessed to her friends they told her to report it immediately. At this time Meagan hadn’t come to terms with her rape and still had the ‘that couldn’t happen to me’ mentality, so she didn’t.

In her state of denial, a week after her assault she began drinking heavily to cope with the sadness she was feeling. She finally broke down to a friend of hers and admitted to herself that she’d been raped. But she still didn’t want to report it because she thought she had waited too long to (a week had passed by now).  Mind you his apartment was right by her dorm and she was scared of seeing him everyday.

Finally the day comes where she tells the school and the police. They take down all the details and move her to a different neighborhood so she won’t be in fear of seeing her attacker all the time. So she should start to feel a little safer right? Wrong.

“Every time I saw a man with dark hair I had a panic attack.” She could not function in everyday life anymore as she was depressed and constantly scared. She started falling into a hole of isolating herself, as well as missing class. An academic advisor told her if she needed to take a break from school for a year, they were more than willing to give her a refund and admit her again next year. She had decided that this was the best route for her – her grades were slipping and she needed to keep her mind off the assault.

The final report came in of her case from the school and her attacker admitted she did say stop and he ‘didn’t respond quickly.’ He basically downplayed what actually happened, but admitted to it none the less. And despite all this, the school still sided with her attacker. She quickly appealed the decision, but after some time she decided she had to leave MSU for good to try and escape the trauma. Since she was no longer a student, she was forced to leave her dorm and couldn’t afford to fly back home. So she was homeless for a while until a friend of hers came to pick her up and drive her back home.

Meagan later received an email from the school that they would not be appealing the situation to pursue justice for her. She couldn’t believe it. After all this fighting she came out with nothing.

Meagan chose not give me her attacker’s name, but did say he is an athlete and friends with the son of a public official. Either way, he knows who he is and he better be happy she took mercy on him, a luxury he did not give her. We’ve seen time and time again schools protecting their ‘elite’ so they feel like they’re invincible, and by not pressing charges they proved that a fact. I did reach out to MSU PD to give a statement, but they declined to comment and redirected me to their PR person instead.

Despite her rape, Meagan is doing a lot better. She’s happy to take a break from State because all the campus did was bring back horrible memories for her. She still suffers from frequent panic attacks, but it’s much easier for her to heal at home and be around her loved ones. She’s much happier.

In 2015, it was reported that one in four female undergrads at MSU are sexually assaulted. We all hear the whispers about the university trying to cover up rape, but no one has ever heard a story from someone that has experienced the injustice of having the most traumatic moment of their life swept away by the officials that are supposed to protect us. All of Michigan State’s students even had to attend a sexual assault workshop and online training, but what does that matter if the school doesn’t step into help when it’s happening on our very own campus. Meagan wants people to know that she will not be stopped, and that she will keep fighting for justice.

Meagan has started a GoFundMe account to help pay for the expenses that MSU said they wouldn’t give her for leaving, but then charged her anyway. I also spoke with the academic advisor that said she would get a refund, and he declined to comment saying he “was uncomfortable commenting on the matter.” If you would like to help with her expenses, you can find her GoFundMe page at https://www.gofundme.com/help-get-justice-against-my-rapist.

If you, or anyone you know has dealt with sexual assault or rape, talk to friends, surround yourself with love, and don’t hesitate to reach out for help. The National Sexual Assault Hotline is 1-800-656-HOPE.

@TheTab