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Cher’s Twitter is the only pure thing left in this world
How would we have managed to get through 2016 without her wise words?
Cher is a legend. She’s 70 and she looks younger than my mum (and me). She’s the queen of reinvention. You have to be, to be honest, with a career spanning five decades and the moniker “Goddess of Pop” to live up to. Cher’s most recent reinvention though, is indisputably her best. She’s The Weirdest Person On Twitter.
OK maybe that’s unfair. The weird people on Twitter, really, are the virgins of the alt-right or the people who send George Galloway pictures of their kids on the first day of school. They’re people who DM you dickpics for no reason and neckbeards who correct your grammar when you make your best joke. Twitter is, fundamentally, quite a negative place. Cher might be weird but she’s above all that. She’s pure and innocent and she reminds us all to see the world as a better place. I mean look at some of this stuff:
Reading Cher’s tweets is like scrolling through your mum’s increasingly erratic Facebook statuses when it gets passed wine o’clock with Julie. You get the impression that while she doesn’t fully understand the medium, she will be damned if she’s left behind by it. And in the same way you and your mates will like your mum’s irate but adorable rants about what Ant or Dec has done on their latest cringe ITV venture, you’ll RT Cher’s unfiltered thoughts, unable to tell whether they’re nuggets of wisdom or the incoherent ramblings of an idiot-savant.
And honestly, Cher probably wouldn’t care either way. She’s Cher, bitch. She know every thing she says is a work of art, so she says what she wants, and she’s not afraid to attack anyone who’s stupid enough to call her out for it.
It’s easy to laugh at Cher, obviously, and her tweets, but there’s more in this than just taking the piss out of her. She’s used her Twitter presence for good in a seriously shit year. She’s been attacking Donald Trump with wild abandon for months on end, completely unabashed in how much she fucking hates him. She’s used her platform for good, raising continued awareness for the people of Flint, Michigan, who still don’t have clean water. In January this year, she donated 181,440 bottles of water to the city.
So yeah, maybe she doesn’t get memes and you get the impression that despite being worth £305 million she’d still ask you how to send an email, but she’s what we need. Cher’s Twitter might just be the last pure place on the internet in 2016. She got us through, for that we’re grateful. Thanks babe.