I’m as confused as you are by this. But I think Ed Miliband might be daddy
What a world we live in
Remember Ed Miliband? Sure you do. Ed Miliband, the bumbling, awkward, poorly-resized photoshop version of his slick brother David Miliband. He ran for Prime Minister and ate his bacon sandwich in a weird way and everyone laughed at him because the human race is inherently cruel and callous. Yeah, that one.
Although Ed fostered a strange cultlike Milifandom of young women when he campaigned, he was widely regarded as just a bit off, and sadly never became Prime Minister. Newspapers drew him in Wallace and Gromit caricatures or published high quality photos of his awkward cringing face. It was a cruel time, 2015.
But the world is different now. Donald Trump is President and Theresa May is bending over backwards for him but the one glimmer of hope in all that is bizarrely, somehow, slowly, Ed Miliband has become a sex symbol again. The silver lining in the hellscape that is 2017 politics is that Ed Miliband has become daddy, and I am here for it.
Essentially, Ed, bless him, has Longbottomed. He’s the awkward guy in your class at school who went to uni found his vibe and blossomed into a regulation hottie. He’s even gone global. Yesterday, Jezebel asked their readers if they’d shag him – the “appalled British MP” – and the response was a resounding yes. Over 35 per cent of them wanted Ed, and probably for the first time in his life, he came out in a landslide over David (he only got 15 per cent). Even The Guardian are getting involved.
I think 2017 is the year Ed Miliband has become the daddy to replace our dearly departed Joe Biden. Maybe Ed Miliband will be the one to save us from it all.
I hope so.
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