You’re probably a Popcorn Hoe even if you don’t know what a Popcorn Hoe is
Don’t worry, it’s not a bad thing
by Amanda Ross
If you’re reading this, you are more than likely a so-called Popcorn Hoe. Don’t freak out though, because it’s not as terrible as it sounds.
To be a Popcorn Hoe is to be a low-key genius too smart to waste a single swipe of Becca highlighter on the plebes of your Tuesday morning lecture. You’re too wise to expose the basics of your day job to the realness that is your snatched waist in a bodysuit and Paige jeans. Too cunning to not sleep in on a Thursday and forgo a razor sharp winged liner.
You prefer to stunt when it actually counts: on turn up nights when you can spend hours artfully applying the Anastasia contour kit you treat like a firstborn child. And when you glow up Friday and Saturday, my god do you glow tf up.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with wearing/not wearing makeup during the week. It’s your jam and if you want to show up to your science lab with a full cut-crease and over-lined lips then you are a goddess and let’s get drinks next week, but Popcorning has benefits. Not only do you get extra time to sleep, but you set the bar so low for yourself that when you do decide to stunt, everyone is blown the fuck away. You’re basically a ringer in the game of tricking people into wanting to have sex with you.
My fellow Popcorn Hoes, I celebrate you. Some people call it laze, some trickery, but I think we’re the only ones who have it truly figured out. Pop on, hoes. Pop on.
Your weekly horoscopes are here, and they come with a major warning
Things are about to get messy
by Codi Cheyenne
CAUTION: Look out for September 18 as a day full of erratic energy and a desire to rebel thanks to Mars squaring Uranus for the third time this year. If you don’t find a healthy place to release this energy, it’ll most likely turn into stressful conflict that can even physically manifest itself in the…
That weird ‘Curvy Wife Guy’ hates us :(
‘I was often teased for my attraction to girls on the thicker side, ones who were shorter and curvier’
by Harry Shukman
Whoever said heroes come in all shapes and sizes clearly never imagined that one day, The Curvy Wife Guy would come onto this earth and declare himself a martyr for thiccness. Also known as The Thicc Wife Guy, né Robbie Tripp, he first appeared on your timeline with this horny and unsettling post about his…
Your weekly horoscopes are here, and things are going surprisingly well for all of us…?
Plus, your theme song of the week!
by Codi Cheyenne
Has anyone told you how intelligent you are lately? Mercury in Virgo is making that aspect of you pop this week and confirming that truth! You are SO intelligent. You kick ass at taking care of business and getting shit done. Use this energy combined with the new moon to kick off new projects, set…