You’re probably a Popcorn Hoe even if you don’t know what a Popcorn Hoe is
Don’t worry, it’s not a bad thing
by Amanda Ross
If you’re reading this, you are more than likely a so-called Popcorn Hoe. Don’t freak out though, because it’s not as terrible as it sounds.
To be a Popcorn Hoe is to be a low-key genius too smart to waste a single swipe of Becca highlighter on the plebes of your Tuesday morning lecture. You’re too wise to expose the basics of your day job to the realness that is your snatched waist in a bodysuit and Paige jeans. Too cunning to not sleep in on a Thursday and forgo a razor sharp winged liner.
You prefer to stunt when it actually counts: on turn up nights when you can spend hours artfully applying the Anastasia contour kit you treat like a firstborn child. And when you glow up Friday and Saturday, my god do you glow tf up.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with wearing/not wearing makeup during the week. It’s your jam and if you want to show up to your science lab with a full cut-crease and over-lined lips then you are a goddess and let’s get drinks next week, but Popcorning has benefits. Not only do you get extra time to sleep, but you set the bar so low for yourself that when you do decide to stunt, everyone is blown the fuck away. You’re basically a ringer in the game of tricking people into wanting to have sex with you.
My fellow Popcorn Hoes, I celebrate you. Some people call it laze, some trickery, but I think we’re the only ones who have it truly figured out. Pop on, hoes. Pop on.
We asked college seniors what they wish they knew about finding a ‘real job’ as underclassmen
Sophomores and juniors, listen up
by Una Dabiero
Everyone dreams of senior spring. It's your last semester of college, it's basically impossible to fuck up your GPA, and you have the best group of friends who you've known for 2, 3, even 4 years. But lots of seniors also spend the spring stressing about finding a job because, you know, it's kinda the…
All the things that make you a slut, according to the men of the internet
I’ll still be eye-rolling in my grave
by Ari Bines
Who better than men to tell us all the things promised to ensure one-way tickets to hell?! We know that men are basically tiny, fragile baby birds and the sight of an unsaved number or a facedown will result in an insecure rage. But what else infuriates these pissbabies to the point of nuclear meltdown?…
20 weirdly specific but incredibly amazing things kids today will never experience
Warning: You may want to spend like $2000 on eBay after reading this
by Una Dabiero
Do you ever feel really lucky that you aren't a kid in 2018? Think about all the stuff they have to deal with that we didn't even know existed 10 years ago. These kids are out there fighting for Instagram fame, doing homework on iPads, and listening to Musical.ly stars instead of the radio. Now…