It’s time we faced the fact that we are all IRL catfishes of ourselves
Get you a girl who can do both
It’s a Wednesday evening and they hit you with a “wanna grab a drink?”
Yeah, I’d love to, we think, but I currently look nothing like what you’re expecting me to look like when I show up.
“Sure, but won’t be free until a bit later!” we write back as we run home to plaster on our faces.
It’s a universal thing and if you’ve ever felt it, you’re not alone. All girls are basically real-life catfishes, but instead of using a stranger’s pictures, we use our own beat-face selfies so unrecognizable from our day-to-day looks that it might as well be pics of a stranger.
To prove it, we’ve rounded up some photos of our favorite catfish to keep you company in the pond.
Amanda Keohane, 21
“I usually wear makeup when I’m going out or at work, because I have lots of acne scarring from high school, and so I’m really insecure about my skin.”
Laila Husain, 20
“I wear makeup on dates because I don’t take consistent good care of my skin; I barely get enough sleep and spend too much time looking at screens, so the bags under my eyes are more like steamer trunks. Besides, when I bat my lashes after I’ve applied a couple coats of They’re Real, I’m more likely to get what I want.”
Sophie Thomas, 20
“This photo literally gets ALL the guys on Tinder. This took at least 90 minutes of my hair in rollers, a spray tan, a good amount of time on my makeup and a filter. I even say that I catfish myself on Tinder because there’s no way I put this much time and effort into myself on the daily.”
Eleni Mitzali, 23
“If you’re going to be a dick online when I’m at my best, you don’t deserve to see me at my worst.”
Elizabeth Gorrie, 22
“I wear makeup because it makes me feel beautiful. If it makes you feel fabulous and you enjoy taking the time to put it on, do it.”
Amanda Ross, 23
“If you’re seeing me without makeup, it’s because I successfully got you from point a (Tinder) to point b (my room), and by then it’s too late.”
Caroline Phinney, 22
“I’ll trick a boy. I don’t care.”
Sharon Mejia, 21
“Without it, I feel incomplete. Whenever I’m a catfish version of myself, I honestly feel so fucking good and ready to conquer the day or the night. I love filling in my brows, wearing my Kat Von D eyeliner and putting on some nice bold lipstick.”
Clarity Engel, 20
“I have a good amount of acne scars so foundation and concealer keeps me going, plus contouring has become my go-to to make it look like I have defined cheek bones,when in reality I still have all my baby fat on my face.”
Emily Pearson, 22
“I wear it to fit in with the situation. I don’t wanna stick out in the bar for not looking put together, but catch me every other day bare faced on the couch in a onesie watching food network.”
“I love trying out new things and am a bit of a makeup hoarder — plus it gives me confidence.”
Alexis Morillo, 19
“Because makeup is clothes for the face.”
Roisin Lanigan, 24
“If they’re going to see my other eye, it better have makeup on it.”
Ece Ozcan, 19
“Seeing myself in the best possible way makes me feel better about myself, and let’s be real — there is nothing more satisfying than seeing yourself transform.”
Verity Bowman, 21
“I mostly love wearing it because it’s fun to put on.”
Laura Fitzpatrick, 21
“Putting on makeup has always given me a bit more confidence than going bare-faced. I feel like I look ill because I’m so pale naturally, and my eyelashes are so fair that my eyes look undefined with no mascara.”
Maggie Fisher, 20
“Why not show off a little on Tinder? It’s not like I usually wear makeup to impress guys; if I do wear it, it’s to look nice and celebrate myself. (Besides — all my best photos are of me going out with makeup on).”
Meagan Mullany, 23
“I wear makeup because Buffy Summers wears makeup, and I want to be a badass vampire slayer.”
Jennie Gale, 24
“Dating is nervewracking and when you look good, you’re more likely to be confident. I look better with makeup — that’s literally what it’s for.”
Sarah Desiderio, 23
“I’m actually just a bug out here trying to make it in the world”
Alex Gillies, 21
“I wear it to transform.”
So if you ever feel alone in your catfish-ing, know that you’re not.
Next time you look over your friends shoulder as they swipe on tinder, do not think to yourself, “They are all so much prettier than me.”
I’m sure they are gorgeous, but 1. looks are deceiving, and 2. you’re gorgeous as well.
Boys, we will go home before our first date, and we will plaster our face on. But we’re lying demons, and if you choose to stick around — god rest your soul — the truth will, inevitably, come out.
Or we’ll sleep with our eyeliner wings on. Probably that latter.