I sent my Tinder matches lines from 50 Shades Darker and it got weird
Some weren’t as kinky as me
by Mared Parry
Being newly single just in time for Valentine’s day I thought I’d do something really productive with the day of love, and message a couple of my matches some dead kinky lines from the infamous 50 Shades of Grey by E.L James.
These lines were cringey as hell so I wasn’t expecting many replies, but I got some crackers thrown back at me
Kieran knew the score
Jack wasn’t having any of it
Ben wanted more
Lewis, the only one who wished me a Happy V-Day. What a cutie
Ish was super keen
Danny liked my instagram post for Valentine’s Day
Here’s the Instagram post in question
Olli was a little slow
Tommy (who I bumped into at the pub the next day) wanted to know exactly what I was gonna do about my racing hormones
No, Declan, not because you’re Stalin
OK Louis, I promise I’ll be gentle (you like whips, right?)
My conclusion = Cardiff lads’ Tinder game is WEAK. I mean, some of these are funny, but none really unleashed the beast unto me. I would’ve quite liked that on my sad and lonely Valentine’s Day.
Ah well, there’s always next year. And until then, there’s always Ann Summers.