Some questions I have for classic noughties film A Cinderella Story

Obviously 2004 was a different era. A simpler time, before Skype with video apparently, and when Chad Michael Murray was a legitimate male lead. It was a time when A Cinderella Story, the greatest rom-com of our time, was released.

But retrospectively I’m grudgingly willing to admit there are some problems, inaccuracies, glaring plot holes in A Cinderella Story, currently rated 11 per cent on Rotten Tomatoes. Watching it back with 20-20 hindsight, there are a few unanswered questions.

– How much does it cost to study at Princeton? It costs $42,000 a year, supposedly. That’s without room and board and books and supplies. How the fuck is Sam making that money working at a diner? Let me know.

– Does Austin realise that Princeton is fucking miserable and that at the University of Southern California he would have a full ride with his football scholarship and no worries as he frolicked in the sunshine for four years? It’s in California, Austin. 

– HOW DOES AUSTIN NOT REALISE THAT THIS IS SAM? THE MASK IS TINY. SERIOUSLY HOW DOES HE NOT REALISE. HE WAS AT HER RESTAURANT JUST DAYS BEFORE.

– It’s not really a question actually, I just wish Gordo was here.

– If Rhonda had this dress the whole time, why did she make Sam go through this whole 80s montage of bad costumes before settling on what is clearly the perfect dress. And like, how long do American high school dances last? How does Sam have the time to do this after her hasty escape from the diner?

– Why is Sam disappointed when she realises Nomad is Austin? Like, I get that he’s the stereotypical jock, but he hasn’t done anything horrible to her/in general throughout the entire movie and he is noughties heartthrob Chad Michael Murray. You’ve gotta wonder why Sam is so judgemental. What the fuck Sam.

– Am I the only one who would have totally watched an entire film about the goth girl who did the school announcements instead of this?

– If Fiona is so strict and tracks Sam everywhere then why doesn’t she panic more about losing her phone? Like, my mum was normal and nice, and she would have killed me had I lost my bedazzled flip phone in the rain at a high school dance while running away from a stranger I’d been surreptitiously speaking to online for months. Sam’s just like nah whatever.

– Apart from sending one letter to her home why does the University of Princeton, an Ivy League institution, make no other attempt to contact Sam to let her know she got in? Why don’t they email her as email is the backbone of this film? Why doesn’t her school intervene? Not one teacher congratulates her? Really? Wow.

– WHY DOESN’T AUSTIN RECOGNISE SAM WHEN HE COMES INTO THE DINER AFTER THE DANCE? SHE LOOKS LITERALLY EXACTLY THE SAME. HER MASK WAS TINY. IS NOBODY ELSE SEEING THIS. SHE LITERALLY TALKS ABOUT “WEARING A MASK”.

– Surely it’s totally normal for Shelby to be angry at Austin for secretly cheating (even via email) with Sam? Like, I’m not saying the play was OK, that was awful, but her boyfriend did just cheat on

– Just as a side point to ‘small things which conceal Sam’s identity somehow’, how is this hat making her less noticeable?

– What kind of deal does Fiona make with the DA to possibly escape jail time for her felony offence of fraud after it’s discovered that she deliberately concealed the existence of Sam’s dad’s will.

– And finally. HOW DOES AUSTIN NOT REALISE THAT’S SAM IN THE TINY MASK.

@rosielanners