It’s a universal truth that Serena van der Woodsen was the absolute worst character on Gossip Girl

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It’s a universal truth that Serena van der Woodsen was the absolute worst character on Gossip Girl

XOXO, Insufferable Girl

For a show that was built around the premise of hot friends stabbing each other in the back, calling out one hot friend in particular as The Worst is a pretty heavy accusation. But I think it’s a safe bet that literally every single viewer agrees with me.

Serena van der Woodsen was an absolute nightmare and by far the worst character on Gossip Girl.

There were virtually zero redeeming qualities about the Upper East Side’s poor little rich girl who habitually fucked things up in the lives of her friends and family, never apologized, and then got upset when people didn’t trust her afterwards. Is there a drinking game for how many times Serena angrily declares she’s “not the same girl” she was before boarding school? If so, never show it to anyone as it will definitely put us all in the hospital with alcohol poisoning.

Though this list could go on and on for days, here’s a quick breakdown of what made SVW such a dick:

She was a horrible friend to Blair

To everyone, actually. Sure, Serena and Blair were both at each other’s throats every other episode, but Serena took it to horrifying lows, fucking with things that were irrevocable. Blair might have made high school-like digs at her, but Serena was out for blood.

The horrible things Serena did to Blair could fill a book, but let’s take a look back at some of her greatest hits: Remember when she stole all of the attention at Blair’s mom’s fashion show, knowing full well that Blair had major psychological hangups about her family? Remember when she slept with Nate in the Campbell Apartment before the Shepherd wedding and then just left town, abandoning her best friend in the world the same month her dad walked out? Remember when she sabotaged Blair’s wedding because she was jealous of her and Dan?

Serena never stopped to think of the consequences — she acted impulsively and seriously hurt her best friend on a whim. Honestly, no amount of La Mer cream could make up for the sinister nastiness that resides within Serena’s perma-tanned soul.

She ran through guys like Kleenex

And this is not a shot at girls who date or even hook up with tons of guys. She changed serious “I-love-you-so-much” boyfriends like she did underwear (though she probably didn’t even wear it) and it was almost always at the expense of a friend or family member.

A quick look: Nate (her BFF’s BF), Dan, Carter, Steven (his daughter’s her age), Ben (her teacher), Collin (her teacher), Aaron (Blair’s stepbrother), Gabriel (her friend’s boyfriend), Tripp (married). And the rotation of most of those goes on and on and on. Like me when I’m on a diet, she only wants what she can’t have. Decide, girl! The only reason why you didn’t end up alone is because Dan is a dusty-ass doormat with poor self-esteem.

She was so fucking selfish

Serena had an incredible knack for making bad situations worse. Just fucked your best friend’s boyfriend and you’re feeling shitty about it? NBD, just kill a man with a line of coke. Casual. Whatever. If she even felt marginally slighted by someone, it was time to send off a Gossip Girl blast that would ruin their entire life. She was brutal to her mom, her never-ending list of boyfriends, her brother, her friends, teachers, whatever, but only ever thought about herself. Serena was a certified demon whose only good qualities included occasionally being a fun at parties (addicts usually are, though) and having a truly excellent wardrobe.

Gossip Girl creators clearly developed the show with Serena and Nate in mind as the series’ golden couple, the aspirational duo who would spawn a thousand Fuck Yeah Serena tumblr pages. As the show progressed, Serena’s brutality out-shined all of her gamine giggles and never-ending Balenciaga bags. Oh, and one other thing showed her up, too:

Related stories recommended by this writer:

Jennifer Lawrence almost played Serena on Gossip Girl, and it would have been so much better
Dan and Blair were the only good couple on Gossip Girl, and I have legitimate proof
Nobody panic, but we might be getting a Gossip Girl reunion

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