Sex once a week makes people happier than an extra $50,000, proving that people are in fact idiots
Let me TELL YOU what I would do for $50,000
by Amanda Ross
We hear old people bitching and moaning about how humanity is “doomed” but it’s always for stupid reasons like a new, sexy Rihanna music video or something. Today, I’m confronted with evidence that humanity is, in fact, doomed but it’s not because a woman dared to flash a hint of breast.
A study found that people would be happier having sex once a week than earning an extra $50,000. Fifty fucking thousand.
Are you kidding me?
Do you know what $50,000 could buy me? Vibrators. Hookers to have sex with. Rent for exactly 57.3 months. 200,000 chicken nuggets from McDonalds (yes, I did the math).
There was one caveat, though. The sex only made people that damn happy when it was a) good, and b) followed by cuddling and kissing. So, you know, like a relationship.
Maybe the study should have been about how a fulfilling relationship makes people happier than $50,000. I’d be a little more inclined to begrudgingly agree. Only a little, though.
Money can’t buy happiness but it can buy a quarter of a million nuggets.
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