Vogue says pink is the new black, which means I now have to buy an entirely new wardrobe

Now that normcore is officially dead, fashion brands, such as Vogue and GQ have deemed pink the new black, and we’re all feeling seriously screwed over right now.

For years, I’ve been amassing a wardrobe darker and blacker than anyone else’s. I keep a lint roller in each room, it doesn’t matter which socks I roll together after laundry, and I own, singularly, pets with dark fur.

That’s why when I first heard the news, I tried to deny it. Trends are trends, which means they come and go. But apparently, pink is here to stay. So instead, I’ve created a Go Fund me page, to help fund my new pink look — $25,000 will do the trick, right?

But what are all of these women going to do?

Black has always been the new black.

We all have that one friend who doesn’t own a single spot of color. She is going to be sad today. Go to her, console her, and help her start a go fund me page of her own. Moving on takes time, so don’t push her – just let her know that you are there for her. You see her, you hear her, and you are going to make it through this together.

Thanks for nothing, Vogue.

@carolinephinney