Look at these ‘clear knee mom jeans’ from Topshop and tell me that God isn’t dead
If fashion is a crime then lock me up and make me wear these jeans as a prison jumpsuit because they’re awful
The fashion world is a funny old place, isn’t it? Where ugly is beautiful and horrible things created by children cost thousands of pounds and crop tops look like this and apparently, because we are living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape, these jeans exist.
Topshop has produced these jeans for us, these futuristic jeans that your mom would wear only if your mom existed in some sort of alternate Mad Max reality where she has to fight other concubines to the death in the desert. These jeans which will cost 49 of your English pounds (95 of your American dollars) for a pair of jeans with at least a third of the material missing. These jeans which are already out of stock in W24L30 size, meaning they’ve already been purchased and legitimately worn by fashionable, teeny tiny women.
The internet – like myself – is divided over these jeans.
The Clear Knee Mom Jeans ? pic.twitter.com/Dkx5ygdXtu
— Mike T (@majtague) March 13, 2017
These are actual jeans you can buy at @Nordstrom that cost $95.
Called Clear Knee Mom Jeans.
We are truly living in the dark time line. pic.twitter.com/vv9flwQeXx
— Jed Whitaker (@Jed05) March 13, 2017
On the one hand, OK, maybe this is high fa$hun. Maybe this is a sartorial take that my small basic mind just can’t drink in. Maybe when we’re taking the piss out of them we just sound like our unstylish-drinks-boxed-wine aunties, who laugh at ripped jeans during family parties (“Haha yes Aunt Irene I bought them like this! Haha yes I paid money for them! Haha yes you could repair them for me! Haha remember when you ruined the economy now I can’t buy a house!”).
Next time you think you're failing, remember that someone thought mom jeans w/ clear knee panels was a good idea pic.twitter.com/ERTvqhBJE2
— Anxiety Girl (@AnxiousGrlGuide) March 13, 2017
On the other hand: they are fucking ugly jeans and they deserve the ridicule piled upon them.
Aaron Carter crying about IPAs is all of us on dates with ‘indie’ guys
Please don’t make me drink this pisswater
by Una Dabiero
Saturday, Aaron Carter was arrested in Georgia for reckless driving. So last night, he went on Entertainment Tonight to clear his name. How? By tearfully telling everyone that he doesn’t drink liquor or IPAs. In one sentence, Aaron Carter managed to be the most relatable star of all time. He somehow encapsulated the fear and…
QUIZ: What member of Taylor Swift’s seemingly disassembled squad are you?
Give me Gigi or give me death
by Una Dabiero
It’s been a tough year for Taylor Swift. Between Kim Kardashian dragging her for shading Kanye, Lorde denying her spot in the “squad” and the social media hiatus that has us wondering if she’s dead, the queen of pop seems more like a sadly deflated doll of broken dreams. We haven’t seen her famed girl gang together in…
You can now get an actual university degree in Instagram Celebrity
You’ll learn how to contour and take fake candids
by Amanda Ross
Past “fad majors” in Beyoncé, bowling and astrology all pale to an absolutely ridiculous new degree obtainable in Online Influencing. Yes, like the thing where you write #ad next to a marble slab with beauty products and a green juice artfully arranged on it. That thing where pretty bitches post fake candid with collagen-filled lips and…