Dating disasters we all experienced as teenagers in the early 2000s

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Dating disasters we all experienced as teenagers in the early 2000s

Just poke them on Facebook then they’ll definitely fall in love with you

Teenage girls today will never know the horrors of dating that we had to go through. In the days before Tinder, Bumble, Instagram, Snapchat, even Facebook for some, navigating the dating world was hard for us millennials growing up in the early 2000s.

Sure, dating is always hard, but you guys now don’t know how lucky you have it. It was practically a dystopian universe compared to the one teenagers are faced with today, but it was one we faced together. And one we all failed at, miserably, together. At least we can hopefully say we have learnt from our mistakes.

Signing in and out of MSN multiple times, hoping your crush would notice you

MSN is something we all know of, have experienced, and maybe even come to love in a nostalgic kinda way. We all know the panic of rushing home, frantically signing in and quickly scanning the friends list to see if your crush was online yet. They almost never were, so you’d go through the obligatory daily status change – it was always sad lyrics to some song or another moaning about how in love you were – and then just waste time chatting to your mates until your crush eventually came online.

The second he did, and I literally mean the second, there’s no time to waste when it comes to MSN flirting, you would appear offline, wait a minute or two, and come back online again, in the vain hope that maybe he would see and come chat to you. Seriously though, if this ever worked for anyone then you are a god amongst men because this trick literally never worked for me. Ever.

Sending MSN nudges or winks if they took too long to reply

You thought this was so cute. It wasn’t. It was just super annoying.

Changing your MySpace/Facebook profile pic to something ‘sexier’

And by “sexier” I do not actually mean that it was in any way sexy. These were the days before Instagram and Snapchat, you couldn’t filter yourself pretty and be done with it. No, the best selfie you could have back in the noughties was always in your room, taken from a top angle to make your eyes (and your boobs) look bigger, with enough flash to make even Paris Hilton’s fake tan look non existent.

And don’t forget the massive side fringe to hide most of your forehead and, if you were lucky, most of your spots. But hey, at least those bags under your eyes were easier to hide back then. With all that overexposure, there’s no way anyone was going to end up looking tired.

Poking your crush on Facebook

A poking war was the epitome of flirting back in the day. It was the 2000s version of a snapstreak, and your life practically ended if you lost it. Because, seriously, how are they going to know you like them if you haven’t “poked” them for the last 25 days in a row?

Making your friends ask the guy you liked if he had a crush on you

Your friends all hated you for this, but you had to know. What if he didn’t even like you, and you were wasting all this time crushing on him for no reason? Although realistically, what were any of us even going to do with this information once we got it?

Will we millennials ever learn how to use flash?

Group cinema trips you arranged on the off chance you could sit next to your crush

You’d suggest sharing popcorn because it’s cheaper, and then share with your crush so you could sit next to them during the film. You’d be too nervous to eat any of the popcorn though, so you’d just sit there with your arm *casually* leaning on the arm rest, hoping he would take the hint and hold your hand.

Going swimming for your birthday party so that your crush could see you in a bikini

You had zero boobs and a flat arse, but that didn’t stop you. You felt good in a bikini and, in the days before bikini pics were the norm on Instagram, you knew the only way to get him to see you looking your best was to go swimming. Except you forgot to take off your makeup, so half an hour in you have mascara all over your face, and wet hair makes you look less little mermaid, more drowned rat. But you were in a bikini, and that’s all that matters.

Completely ignoring your crush when he came over to hang out and giggling with your friends instead

I literally used to do this to all the guys, it’s a wonder I ever got a boyfriend at all. But it’s awkward having a crush at school, aged 13, in front of your mates who are all taking the piss – his included, so I think we can all be forgiven for this one.

Tagging your crush as ‘prince charming’ or ‘the jock’

Going to the end of school disco with your crush only to stand awkwardly against the wall the whole time

Until the Cha Cha Slide came on, of course. No one can resist the Cha Cha Slide. But after that it was back to leaning against the wall, occasionally glancing up and giggling nervously when you caught each other’s eyes. Towards the end of the night your friends would tease you mercilessly until you danced to a slow number (and by danced I mean awkwardly hugged and swayed a bit), which they would then proceed to laugh at for the entire song.

Prom was not exempt from awkward disco etiquette
Literally leaning away because it’s so awkward

@alexx__wright

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