Literally every single way you’ve gotten away with posting sexy pics on Instagram because you’re a creative genius
And you deserve a round of applause
Let's be real, Instagram is not the place to be honest. Since discovering the 'gram all those years ago, we've fortunately moved past those first few pics of horribly-angled food or badly-lit selfies and each blossomed into our own aesthetic. A very big part of that aesthetic — which is made up of carefully chosen filters and the random landscape shots to break up all the selfies — being the sexy pictures we've become so skilled at captioning to make our narcissism a biiiit less obvious.
When you throwback to the past to bring back those fire pics
99 percent of the time it will be a picture from a vacation you took months ago because you looked good back then and that shit deserves to be brought back. Can be seen in the form of 'Wish I was back here,' 'Memories' and 'I can't believe this was a year ago!'
When try and use your messy room to take attention away from your boobs
It's called creativity and it's totally acceptable. Captions focusing on one's dirty mirror, minor bedroom detail, or lack of clothing encouraged.
When you use your new top as an excuse to post a pic of your boobs looking on point
Can also be used to flaunt toned stomach. Popular captions include 'I love this new top,' 'Thrift store find' and 'Newww thingsss'.
When you don't know what to caption a sultry selfie so you use an obscure art caption
Knowledge of art not even needed.
When you use your workout to post a picture of your slammin' bod
Scenarios include working out for the first time in months or a detailed analysis of your fitness routine. Either way you look super cute in your new leggings.
Common captions used: 'Proud of my progress,' 'Arms day' or the flexed arm emoji.
When all you need is a nice background to post a bikini shot
The only #view in the pic is you and that's fine.
When you add 'lazy' to any day of the week and it's acceptable to post an underwear pic in bed
Bonus points if they're Calvin Klein's.
When your new hair is the perfect excuse for a shirtless pic
Seriously, don't look at my highlights, look at this cute new bralette.
When a single emoji says everything your seductive selfie wanted to say
Picking the perfect emoji ends up taking twice as long and the reality is you'd love to caption your photo 'I'm posting this because I look hot.'
When you use your rib tattoo to post a topless pic
It's kind of one of the main reasons you got it done there anyway.
When you don't use any caption whatsoever and people just know what your silence means
A Jenner/Kardashian favorite. Used when there are no words to perfectly describe the amount of sexy you've fit into one pic. The lack of a caption speaks for itself and there is nothing it's not saying.
When you use #FreeTheNipple to post a picture of your boobs
Because we can fight the patriarchy while also looking fly.
When you've nailed your makeup so you just have to post a pouty selfie
You didn't spend 10 minutes perfecting both eyes to let that look go to waste on a few people you see on a night out. Captions include: 'I love my makeup,' 'This highlighter thooo' and 'Look thanks to *insert popular makeup brand here.*'
When song lyrics you haven't heard since high school are the only thing that capture your beauty
It might be 2017 but we're still wondering 'Why’d you have to go and make things so complicated?'
The government just decided rapists will get to be treated ‘fairly’
Betsy DeVos wants them to get their due process
by Jenn Ficarra
Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos announced today that effective immediately the 2011 Dear Colleague Letter issued by the Office for Civil Rights would be withdrawn. In it's place, she has issued interim guidance for how schools should handle sexual assault on campus.This is Secretary DeVos's latest move in her attempts to roll back Obama-era guidance…
QUIZ: Are you truly a Gossip Girl expert?
You know you love me, XOXO
by Diyora Shadijanova
This week is very, very special. No, it’s not the Queen’s birthday, unless you consider Blair Waldorf a queen, of course. Which I obviously do. It’s officially been 10 years since the most iconic TV show of the millennia came out, changing every facet of our otherwise-boring lives forever. From petty drama to some of…
Rihanna’s new, top-secret Fenty products are coming for Kylie’s Lip Kit fortune
They’re BEAUTIFUL, and I am crying
by Jenn Ficarra
Take your dry lip kits and step aside, Kylie because Rihanna is coming for your throne. Word on the street is that Fenty Beauty, Rihanna’s new beauty line, is gearing up to drop a liquid lipstick. Twitter user GlamourGoals tweeted the following: Some think that it could be nail polish, not liquid lipstick but the…