‘Please be interesting’ is the demeaning new online dating trend men just can’t get enough of
Left swipe, asshole
by Amanda Ross
Scroll through any modern dating site or app and you’re likely to come across a jumble of buzzwords and phrases used by almost every guy on the site:
I’m 6’1″ because apparently that matters
Looking for a partner in crime
That’s my niece, not my kid
But the worst trope by far, popping up in every few profiles, is a variation on the most demeaning phrase ever: “please be interesting.”
Everyone's tinder bio: "Please be interesting, I don't like one word replies."
*Starts conversation with them*
— m o o n c h i l d (@Velvetwavez) August 8, 2016
It can take different forms, sometimes arranging itself into “please be able to hold a conversation.”
The presumption that women are vapid idiots and men are in search of an intellectual unicorn is upsetting enough when it stays dormant in a guy’s mind, manifesting itself subconsciously in the form of negs and backhanded compliments.
I hate tinder bc 90% of people put "be interesting please" but the only thing they have written before that is where they were born
— maplestory (@heyitsmaple) May 5, 2015
But an overt “I THINK WOMEN ARE MORONS NOT WORTHY OF MY TIME” banner is so cringe, I can’t tell if I’m angry, annoyed, amused, or filled with secondhand embarrassment.
tinder turnoffs 2: u saying that a girl "better be able to hold a conversation" or "make you laugh." Also confederate flags and racist shit
— Mariah Dalton (@mariahdalton47) May 12, 2016
First of all, almost every single woman I know is incredibly interesting and I can name countless dudes who have the personality of a literal Adidas sandal.
But beyond that, the deep-seated idea that most women are vain, self-absorbed and uninteresting is just that: a long-held belief by men, propelled by (male-driven) media. How many books did you read as a teenager that focused on a guy uninterested by all the vapid sluts in his school except for the one manic pixie dream girl who’ll take his life in a new direction of action and adventure? Because I, unfortunately, read a lot.
Dismissing most women out of hand as uninteresting or — even worse — “unable to hold a conversation” as it is untrue. It does have one purpose though: it tells us exactly who not to match with.