There’s nothing wrong with having sex on the first date


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There’s nothing wrong with having sex on the first date

What’s up with the stigma?

One in 14 of us will have sex on the first date, according to new research. But still there’s a huge stigma around the three date rule, and breaking it, even in 2017, is likely to have you burned at the stake – OK well not that but at least talked about unkindly.

Despite our supposed millennial wokeness, our culture still tells us that having sex before the third date means that you are an easy slut who is basically the village bike, and that if you want a relationship with the person you are dating, then sleeping with them “too soon” is a big no no. But a new YouGov Omnibus poll revealed that 14 per cent of 18 to 24-year-old would have sex on the first date, more than any other age group. So we’re doing it, we’re just not admitting it, obviously.

If I’m completely honest, I do not get this at all. It is a ludicrous and old fashioned concept that is (to redact quite extensively) steeped in a historical context of misogyny and slut shaming. Because let’s face it, the whole keep your legs shut rhetoric is primarily directed at women. Another argument against sex too soon is looking too keen too quickly, where again the logic is paper thin. The arrogance is astounding, and I can’t believe that I have to spell this out: we won’t magically fall in love with you at the sight of your cock.

Sex serves many different functions, it’s not just something you do with someone you love (like your parents and possibly sex ed told you). Sure, it’s complicated and multifaceted, but so is basically everything else. Sometimes you just want to get laid, and that’s it, but equally it can be an expression of love. If you are having consensual and safe sex, then there isn’t really a problem when you do it, whether it’s the first date or the ninth. Plus sex is good for you, so there’s that. And if you’re enjoying the company and aesthetic of the person you are on a date with, and want to continue that date with sex that is no bad thing.

Ultimately though, it’s up to you. Personally I am team sex on the first date, but that may not be right for someone else. And quite frankly, it really doesn’t matter. You do you, wait till your wedding night if that’s what is right for you.

Or jump them as soon as you leave the bar after a few drinks, your choice.