2017 - 2024 Tab Media babe •
You’re a hoe if you do any of these things, according to the men of the internet
I’m the biggest hoe of them all
by Amanda Ross
I’m just gonna say it: dudes on the internet are totally out of control. When they’re not trying to move into our DMs, sending us dick pic Snaps, or refusing to leave us alone until we block them, they’re sitting on Twitter calling us hoes.
Back in my day, the only thing that would get you called a hoe was actual hoe-ing around (not that there’s anything wrong with that). But now, you’re a hoe for committing any single unforgivable offense that might include (but is definitely not limited to): having friends, owning a cell phone, going to college, or breathing air.
We’re all hoes, and we’re all in it together. Here’s the list of our #hoecrimes:
Apparently not-freezing temperatures is for THOTS ONLY
And so are these balloons, smh
Maybe I’m both?
Men have a LOT of feelings about the dog filter
Also Boomerangs for some reason? Hoes only?
If you’re a woman of average height, YOU A THOT
And if you have any kind of curated social media presence, you’re a big ol’ hoe
Using Twitter makes you a hoe, regardless of maternal status
Using Snapchat frequently places you firmly into HOE territory, say all these dudes
If you’re NOT having sex, sorryyyyy but you’re still a hoe
Girls, we’ve gotta want more for ourselves. We can’t be out here in college like a common thot! Who raised us???
OK but literally everyone does this
For the first time in my life, I’m not craving a McChicken
If she has male friends, SHE A HOE
If she wears makeup, you guessed it: HOE material
Shameka, Keisha, Tara, Shonda, Crystal, Daronda, Theresa, Felicia, Tenisha, Soibian, Monica, Monique, Christiiiina, Yolanda
Using any non-standard Apple product is for THOTS, I’m never gonna let my daughter do this
Oddly specific?
But…that’s literally what it’s for?
Every fashion blogger is a hoe
So are Drake fans
And people who enjoy Texas beaches
THIS IS EVERYONE
Guess I’ll just stuff these notebooks up my ass
A bet a fucking Gemini wrote these
Wrong, read receipts are for fuckboys
Wyd???
It’s my name, not a golden penis
I’m in between paychecks!!
Napping 4 SLUTS
Fuck every single part of this tweet
Guess I’ll go die.
Related stories recommended by this writer:
● Here’s what type of hoe you are based on your star sign
● We asked girls to tell us their very first hoe stories and the shit they told us was wiiiild
● QUIZ: What type of hoe are you?