I’m not big on interior design porn. Sure, I enjoy Grand Designs as much as the next person. Yeah, I’ve painstakingly built a three storey house with a pool in basement on The Sims only to deliberately incinerate it with an indoor firework display – who hasn’t? But other than that it doesn’t do a lot for me. Or it didn’t, at least, before I learned this house existed.
Described as “a magical place in Essex!” – which, for the uninformed is generally an unmagical place, albeit a suitably garish one – the diet-pill pink mansion can house 30 people, and you can stay there on Air Bnb for just £2,000 (around $2,500) a night. The site says: “Eaton House Studio delivers fully bespoke work and leisure experiences in extraordinary surroundings. It is THE pink house with flamingos and unicorns! The perfect place for celebrating a special occasion with friends.
“The house is extremely large and an art piece that is constantly evolving. We are adding to it all the time. However, the pictures we have uploaded give you some idea of the magic of Eaton House Studio. There is much more to discover when you visit!”
Although the description sounds a little manic (so! many! exclamation! points!) it doesn’t detract from the fact that this place is a pink paradise and we should all move in immediately. The place has housed celebrity guests including Iggy Azalea in the past, and includes a backyard private saloon decked out in faux fur and a bubblegum fantasy Jane Mansfield esque suite.
If I can’t live in this house then what is the point in anything anymore? Lmk.
Bet you can’t tell the difference between Curvy Wife Guy’s book and the Unabomber manifesto
Which awful book did we read?
by Harry Shukman
The 21st Century's number one trickster is Robbie Tripp, aka The Curvy Wife Guy, sometimes called The Thicc Wife Guy. He's the horny weirdo who went viral with a deeply weird Instagram post about his wife: "Her shape and size won't be the one featured on the cover of Cosmopolitan but it's the one featured…
Your weekly horoscopes are here, and they come with a major warning
Things are about to get messy
by Codi Cheyenne
CAUTION: Look out for September 18 as a day full of erratic energy and a desire to rebel thanks to Mars squaring Uranus for the third time this year. If you don’t find a healthy place to release this energy, it’ll most likely turn into stressful conflict that can even physically manifest itself in the…
That weird ‘Curvy Wife Guy’ hates us :(
‘I was often teased for my attraction to girls on the thicker side, ones who were shorter and curvier’
by Harry Shukman
Whoever said heroes come in all shapes and sizes clearly never imagined that one day, The Curvy Wife Guy would come onto this earth and declare himself a martyr for thiccness. Also known as The Thicc Wife Guy, né Robbie Tripp, he first appeared on your timeline with this horny and unsettling post about his…