I’m not big on interior design porn. Sure, I enjoy Grand Designs as much as the next person. Yeah, I’ve painstakingly built a three storey house with a pool in basement on The Sims only to deliberately incinerate it with an indoor firework display – who hasn’t? But other than that it doesn’t do a lot for me. Or it didn’t, at least, before I learned this house existed.
Described as “a magical place in Essex!” – which, for the uninformed is generally an unmagical place, albeit a suitably garish one – the diet-pill pink mansion can house 30 people, and you can stay there on Air Bnb for just £2,000 (around $2,500) a night. The site says: “Eaton House Studio delivers fully bespoke work and leisure experiences in extraordinary surroundings. It is THE pink house with flamingos and unicorns! The perfect place for celebrating a special occasion with friends.
“The house is extremely large and an art piece that is constantly evolving. We are adding to it all the time. However, the pictures we have uploaded give you some idea of the magic of Eaton House Studio. There is much more to discover when you visit!”
Although the description sounds a little manic (so! many! exclamation! points!) it doesn’t detract from the fact that this place is a pink paradise and we should all move in immediately. The place has housed celebrity guests including Iggy Azalea in the past, and includes a backyard private saloon decked out in faux fur and a bubblegum fantasy Jane Mansfield esque suite.
If I can’t live in this house then what is the point in anything anymore? Lmk.