Guy on the internet says ‘I don’t date hot women’. Women collectively decide no one will date him ever again
‘Listen, I need to find Dan Rochkind and fling him off a cliff’
Dan Rochkind is a mediocre white man with a “muscular build and a full head of hair”, so according to the New York Post, this gives him the authority to tell us all why he’s decided completely voluntarily to stop dating hot women.
In a painful article published yesterday, poor old Dan explains that when he inexplicably dated crazy hot girls he started to “dread” his dates with them, because they wouldn’t have anything to talk about and they were “flighty, selfish and vapid”. Luckily for Dan – who looks like he’s saying “cheeeeeeeeeeeeese” under his breath while perching awkwardly on a stool – a matchmaking service in Midtown managed to match him with a woman who is merely just beautiful.
Carly (a “lovely brunette”) and Dan pose together in the piece, presumably smiling through gritted teeth and dead behind the eyes as he describes her as: “a softer beauty, someone you can take home and cuddle with. And she’s 5-foot-2, so she can’t be a runway model, but I think she’s really beautiful and is prettier than anyone I’ve dated.”
So that’s nice.
Look, I know what you’re thinking. I know that it’s easy to read this article from literally the most unextraordinary man in the entire world and lose all faith in humanity. I know it’s disheartening to see someone who is the literal embodiment of male privilege peddling a tired narrative that women’s worth is somehow tied to their perceived attractiveness. I know. But it’s lucky, in times of great strife like this, that Twitter exists. And that the people of Twitter have even less time for Dan Rochkind than he does for hot women.
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