Oh my god, Becky, you’ll only get these things if you have a massive ass

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Oh my god, Becky, you’ll only get these things if you have a massive ass

Jeans shopping is impossible

Remember when people actually thought telling a woman “your butt looks big in that” was an insult? Once unjustly hated on, people are finally celebrating big bums. Dainty supermodel “ideal” frames that dominated the 90s and noughties have been rivalled by the rise of the slim-thick physique, spurred on by body-positive movements and celebrities like Kim Kardashian, Iskra Lawrence and Nicki Minaj.

All figures are beautiful figures, and all butts are good butts. But if you do have a big bum, there’s certain things you’ll know to be true. The impossible task of jeans shopping, see through leggings and unnecessary comments – here’s all the home truths girls with big butts will know.

You’re unapologetic about your ass being the focal point of every selfie and you’ve perfected the pose

Every pair of underwear turns into a thong

You can only buy mix and match bikinis, because you’re a completely different size for top and bottom

Leggings look fine from the front, but from behind you can see  e v e r y t h i n g

Buying jeans is impossible. If they manage to get around your ass, they’ll be way too big around your waist

And when you do find a pair that fits, your ass will eventually remind you that you’re wrong

Your deeply uncomfortable walking upstairs with someone behind you

Sharing a seat with someone is almost impossible

And you leave prints wherever you sit

And worst of all, idiot people think having a big butt makes it acceptable to just grab it or shout things at you

Illustrations by Daisy Bernard. 

@daisy_bernard