Oh my god, Becky, you’ll only get these things if you have a massive ass
Jeans shopping is impossible
Remember when people actually thought telling a woman “your butt looks big in that” was an insult? Once unjustly hated on, people are finally celebrating big bums. Dainty supermodel “ideal” frames that dominated the 90s and noughties have been rivalled by the rise of the slim-thick physique, spurred on by body-positive movements and celebrities like Kim Kardashian, Iskra Lawrence and Nicki Minaj.
All figures are beautiful figures, and all butts are good butts. But if you do have a big bum, there’s certain things you’ll know to be true. The impossible task of jeans shopping, see through leggings and unnecessary comments – here’s all the home truths girls with big butts will know.
You’re unapologetic about your ass being the focal point of every selfie and you’ve perfected the pose
Every pair of underwear turns into a thong
You can only buy mix and match bikinis, because you’re a completely different size for top and bottom
Leggings look fine from the front, but from behind you can see e v e r y t h i n g
Buying jeans is impossible. If they manage to get around your ass, they’ll be way too big around your waist
And when you do find a pair that fits, your ass will eventually remind you that you’re wrong
Your deeply uncomfortable walking upstairs with someone behind you
Sharing a seat with someone is almost impossible
And you leave prints wherever you sit
And worst of all, idiot people think having a big butt makes it acceptable to just grab it or shout things at you
Illustrations by Daisy Bernard.