Guys who ask ‘Was it good for you?’ after sex seriously need a lesson in Clit 101


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Guys who ask ‘Was it good for you?’ after sex seriously need a lesson in Clit 101

Boy, do they know how to kill the mood they never set

As I scramble around the room to find the teeny black thong I carefully selected earlier that night in hopes of #banging, I hear the words that would make my vagina's eyes roll if vaginas had eyes: "Was it good for you?"

Avoiding the question by continuing to scramble, I let out a long "Uuuuuuum" as I decide how to respond — extravagant lies, blame it on alcohol, or with an awkward "Yeah, you hungry?" in the hopes food might make up for mediocre sex.

When in fact the universal answer to that question is: No, it wasn't fucking good for me.

If you have to ask if the sex was good, if I came, or if I liked it, deep down you already know the answer or weren't paying attention anyway. Rather than learning to navigate what are for you, clearly uncharted grounds, you're expecting me to stroke your ego like so many girls, including myself, have done before.

Sometimes we feel bad and don't know what to say, but more often than not we know there's no way in hell this is happening again, so we might as well save ourselves the awkward convo and just smile politely.

I'm here to say: Not anymore. Times have changed and we've had one too many fake orgasms to keep quiet any longer. From now on, if I'm not pulling a guy's hair and digging my nails into his back while doing my best not to let my entire block know I'm getting laid, and he asks "Was it good for you?", I'm going to tell him he needs to take some notes.

And as part of this new journey, I have some questions of my own for the next guy who's wondering if the sex was in fact good for me.

– Have you seen a vagina before?

– Was this your first time?

– Were you trying?

– Even a little?

– How have you gotten this far?

– Do you know what an orgasm looks like?

– Would you like me to show you where to find the clit, because I have some free time?

– Do you actually want our honest answer?

– Like, brutally honest?

– And lastly, can you at least buy me some food to make up for it? Fries, please.

Before you bitch-label me, I'm not trying to be mean here — if guys are genuinely curious and open to suggestions I look forward to our little chat, we might even have another go. But it's the guys who only ask to appear vaguely interested in a girl's pleasure — the same guys who won't kiss after head — who I'd like to slap in the face with a vagina diagram.

So guys, if you've learned nothing else from this, I hope you've learned not to ask. It's going to be uncomfortable for the both of us.