Everything you know if you’re not skinny, but not fat either


IRL  • 

Everything you know if you’re not skinny, but not fat either

Get that crop top out of my face

On questionnaires at the doctor’s office and online dating profiles, why isn’t there a body type option for “not the worst, but definitely eats bread?” Like those of us with in-between faces, people with in-between bodies are kind of lost in the middle, drowning in a sea of different clothing labels and Instagram angles.

So much emphasis is put on being super skinny (nothing wrong with that!) or being a BBW (nothing wrong with that either!) that it can be hard to take stock of where you are.

All of your clothes are totally different sizes

I’m sorry, but how can I be a small/medium in Urban Outfitter but sometimes can’t fit into the biggest size at Forever 21?

The other day, I tried on two virtually identical velvet camis at H&M, one a 6 and one a 14 — and I couldn’t even pull the 14 over my head while the 6 gaped around my chest. I’m sorry, what? Blame vanity sizing, blame fast fashion, but the only person I end up blaming when a pair of harem-style pants cut to fit a small French child can’t fit over my ass is myself.

You know the best angles in photos and feel like an optical illusion

Hip swivel, neck tilt, shoulders back and bam, you’re skinny. Until someone takes an unexpected picture of you from the side and you’re ready to pull and Kanye and beat their head in just like Chief Powhatan wanted to do with John Smith (things would have worked out better if he did but that’s neither here nor there). In the words of Oprah, so what is the truth?

I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again: you can feel like a catfish of yourself because you can look so different with just one knee pop.

You think you could be an Instagram model if you just worked out a little more, but you could never give up bread

And chips and booze and thicccc meat (burgers).

Sure, you go to the gym sometimes but it’s mostly to just allow you to eat the aforementioned treats. You have a weird relationship with food (don’t we all) and don’t looove to eat in front of strangers but it’s just so damn good. Whatever, my diet starts Monday…is something you say every Tuesday.

You don’t quiiiite feel comfortable wearing hyper-trendy clothes

Get that crop top the fuck out of my face, you demon. Rompers make you look like a Teletubby (same) and those booty shorts that creep up your ass haunt your dreams.

How do some people just wear a bra with jeans? My brain physically cannot calculate how their titties don’t just immediately bounce tf out to escape that lace prison.

Things from chain stores fit so weird on your different body parts

How can one dress simultaneously be too tight in the arms, too loose in the stomach, cutting off circulation around your boob and gaping at the legs? Was this made for a human woman? Who made this? Why are all of my parts so mish-mashed? When will my husband return from the war?

You get so annoyed when your truly skinny friends call themselves fat in front of you


This is the most annoying ritual of Girl World (we all remember that Mean Girls scene) but at this point, you don’t even bother to be like “Oh my goddd, you’re so skinny (((:” You just eyeroll it away and move on about your day.

It’s hard to know how other people see you because you don’t really know how you see yourself

You’re not skinny enough to be envied by mainstream society but you feel out of place in the otherwise amazing body positivity movement because you still wear straight-sized clothing. It’s hard to feel like you’re straddling two world (which is still privileged, I know) and wonder what the hell is going on with the five feet happening below your neck.

Most days you think you look pretty good….

Alright, outfit is cute and stylish, I look good in the mirror and my selfies, thing are going great!

Until you’re laying down and see your double chin in your laptop reflection

I literally do not recognize this person, who is she? I am calling the police because there is a STRANGER in my home!

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