BREAKING: I no longer hate my body because Dove made a chubby body wash bottle!

What makes you the most angry about a body-negative society? Fat-shaming? Skinny-shaming? Doctors ignoring your health issues? Not being able to find clothes that fit? Missing out on jobs and social opportunities because of your size?

Well who the fuck cares because Dove made soap bottles shaped like different bodies if human bodies looked like soap bottles.

Just watch this:

Do you feel more accepted? I know I sure do. Years of insecurity and self-doubt have been totally erased.

Just like Kendall solved racism with a Pepsi, Dove has totally dismantled body issues with some weird-ass bottle shapes.

Skinny and upset that people keep making snide eating disorder comments? Grab the bottle shaped like a pencil dick and quit complaining because it's SORTED. Scarred from years of ridicule for a high BMI? You get the bottled shaped like a buttplug! Just pour it all over yourself and watch your anxiety issues go down the drain along with the day's grime.

Holy shit, I feel so much better. When I have daughters, I can't wait for them to walk down the hair care aisle, proudly point to one of the amorphous blobs on the shelf and say, "That one, mommy."

We did it, you guys. Welcome to the future.